.

ARRIVAL 1 – Zap

The base is empty. A vent rattles. Something crystalline drops from the ceiling and reforms into an anthro shard-ASCII creature.

Zap:
“Woo! Okay, secret base. Kinda mid decor but I’ve slept in worse vacuum chambers.”
(sniffs)
“Smells like… recycled air. Love that. Homey.”

He paces, tapping walls.

Zap:
“So I’m the first one here, huh? Typical. They always send the coolest guy first.”
(leans against a crate)
“Bet there’s gonna be hot aliens. Or like… demon girls. Or fox girls. Please be fox girls.”

ARRIVAL 2 – Zephyr

The door slides open again. A shy fox peeks in, clutching an oversized mystical toothpick.

Zephyr:
“…H-hello?”

Zap:
(immediately swivels)
“Oh. OH. Hi. Wow. Uh. You’re… very… symmetrical.”

Zephyr:
“…Thank you?”

Zap:
“I’m Zap. Super fast, alien, great swimmer, emotionally available.”

Zephyr:
“…I’m Zephyr. Non-binary. Please don’t… stand that close.”

Zap:
“Right! Boundaries! Love those. Huge fan.”

Awkward silence.

ARRIVAL 3 – Gordon Freeman

The door opens. Gordon steps in silently, HEV suit humming. He scans the room. Adjusts his glasses.

Zap:
“Whoa. Dude. You look like you solve problems by breaking physics.”

Gordon looks at Zap. Blinks. Nods once.

Zephyr:
“…He doesn’t talk, does he?”

Gordon shrugs.

Zap:
“Mysterious. I respect that.”

ARRIVAL 4 – Steamton P Steamton

A LOUD SCREECH. Steam pours in. Steamton rolls in on a handcar, coughing violently.

Steamton:
“CHOO— cough —CHOO— BUSINESS IS BACK ON THE RAILS— cough”

Zap:
“WHY IS HE SMOKING INDOORS.”

Steamton:
“THIS BASE IS A STATION— AND I’M THE CONDUCTOR— ALL ABOARD THE SUFFER EXPRESS!”

He tips his hat. Smoke forms a screaming face.

Zephyr:
“…I don’t like him.”

ARRIVAL 5 – Kitsune Dragnoc

The lights flicker. Fire briefly dances. A tall kitsune steps out calmly.

Kitsune:
“…Interesting collection already.”

Zap:
(instantly)
“HEY. Hi. You single? I mean—”

Kitsune:
“No.”

Zap:
“…Worth a shot.”

Steamton:
“FOX ON THE TRACKS— THAT SPELLS DERAILMENT—”

Kitsune:
“…I will cut you in half.”

Steamton:
“HAHA— cough —I LIKE THIS ONE.”

ARRIVAL 6 – Ashley

A Roblox-stiff walk. A woman wearing a black hat enters, tired.

Ashley:
“…Is this a meeting? I was told there’d be coffee.”

Zap:
“You work retail energy.”

Ashley:
“I work a 9–5.”

Kitsune:
“…My condolences.”

ARRIVAL 7 – CassieLyn

Cassie slouches in, hands already mid-ritual.

Cassie:
“Wow. This place sucks.”
(glances around)
“…Hey though.”

Zap:
“HEY—”

Cassie:
“Don’t.”

Zap:
“…Fair.”

ARRIVAL 8 – Yoshikage Kira

The door opens quietly. Kira steps in, hands folded. He smiles politely.

Kira:
“I hope we can all coexist peacefully.”

Jotaro (from later):
(not yet here)

Cassie:
“…I don’t trust him.”

Kira adjusts his tie.

ARRIVAL 9 – Vadrina

A blur. A cat anthro appears, sword resting casually.

Vadrina:
“If this is a trap, I’m cutting my way out.”

Gordon:
(nods approvingly)

ARRIVAL 10 – The Pale King

Light bends. A small crowned bug floats down.

Pale King:
“You are all… noisy.”

Steamton:
“A KING ON THE LINE—”

Pale King:
“Silence.”

Steamton actually shuts up.

ARRIVAL 11 – Skrunkly

A creature slams into a wall, then the floor.

Skrunkly:
“HIHIHIHI— WAIT— WHY CAN’T I LEAVE—”

Zephyr:
“…Oh no.”

ARRIVAL 12 – Miss Jasmine

A calm presence enters.

Miss Jasmine:
“Everyone, please behave.”

Skrunkly:
“…Okay.”

Everyone stares.

ARRIVAL 13 – Fork

A literal fork clatters onto the floor.

Ashley:
“…Is that it?”

Cassie:
“Yeah that tracks.”

ARRIVAL 14 – Dumbass Remy the Rat Clone

A rat with a knife scurries in.

Zap:
“WHY DOES THE RAT HAVE A KNIFE.”

ARRIVAL 15 – Rewrite

Reality bends. A Sonic-like figure grins.

Rewrite:
“Hey friends! Wow, what a fun little box you’re all trapped in.”

Kira:
“…Interesting.”

ARRIVAL 16 – Dijital

A glitching cat appears.

Dijital:
“LMAO this is cringe.”
(laser tail fires at wall)
“WHO PUT ME IN HERE.”

ARRIVAL 17 – Jotaro Kujo

Heavy footsteps.

Jotaro:
“…Yare yare daze.”

Kira stiffens.

ARRIVAL 18 – Grim

A wheelchair skids in at MACH SPEED.

Grim:
“WHEELS.”

ARRIVAL 19 – Fun Facts with Herbert

Herbert:
“FUN FACT: claustrophobic panic increases by 34% when exits are sealed!”

Zap:
“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.”

ARRIVAL 20 – Atlas

Atlas steps in, eyes flickering blue… then white.

Atlas (normal):
“We’ll be okay.”

Atlas (evil):
“…Maybe.”

ARRIVAL 21 – Diolson

A phone rings. Recording plays.

Diolson:
“Th1s pl4c3 f33ls w4r-t0rn.”

ARRIVAL 22 – Ducc The Ultimate

Floating hands clap.

Ducc:
“Alright. I’ve seen worse.”

ARRIVAL 23 – Scoop Dog

LOUD ICE CREAM MUSIC.

Scoop Dog:
“ICE CREEEAM!”

Jotaro:
“…I hate this place.”

The doors lock. A voice echoes.

ANNOUNCEMENT:
“Thank you for arriving. Further instructions pending.”

Everyone looks at each other.

Zap:
“…So. Anyone wanna be friends?”

Silence.

Fork:
(falls over)

Steamton:
“…WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE—”

Lights flicker.

END SCENE.

what am I reading

absolute cinema ig...?