It’s frustrating to hear him say, “fine, no dad for you,” as if it’s just a casual remark. I want to scream back, “fine, don’t play the role of a father figure in my life.” But the truth is, it cuts deeper than he realizes. The weight of that statement lingers in my mind, a reminder of the emotional void that I constantly grapple with. It’s not just a joke; it’s a reflection of the support I desperately need but often feel is out of reach. I can’t help but feel that his flippant attitude trivializes my struggles, as if my mental health is just a punchline in a joke he’s telling.
Every time he makes light of the situation, it feels like a stab to my already fragile state of mind. I want to tell him how deeply it affects me, how it spirals me into a dark place where I question my worth and my ability to cope. The laughter that follows his words feels like a cruel reminder of the isolation I experience. It’s infuriating to think that he doesn’t see the impact of his words, that he can joke about something that leaves me feeling so vulnerable and exposed. I want to cry, to let the emotions spill out, but instead, I bottle them up, feeling the pressure build inside me.
I wish he could understand that these jokes aren’t harmless; they’re a reminder of the absence of support I often feel. I want to say, “Stop joking like that before I actually say okay,” because the truth is, I’m teetering on the edge of despair. His words push me closer to a breaking point, and I don’t want to reach that place where I feel utterly defeated. It’s exhausting to navigate these feelings alone, and I just want him to recognize the seriousness behind my pain. I need him to see that this isn’t just a game; it’s my reality, and it’s one that I’m struggling to manage.