arc requested by nat

🔥 Scene 1 — Zap, Alone and Proudly Stupid

Zap has made himself a fire that looks suspiciously like a pile of sticks nervously leaning toward each other. He wears a leaf as a hat and is rocking back and forth trying to fashion a spear from a crooked branch.

Zap (muttering to himself, proud): “FIRE—MAKE—ME—HOT-FINGER. Zap: caveman. Zap: survive.”
He pokes the fire with a rock. Sparks. It sputters. He slaps the rock like it’s a drum.

A pair of curious mice appears. Zap stares at them solemnly and then invents a ritual.

Zap (solemn): “You, mouse, you friend. You bring luck.”
He taps his chest in a caveman heartbeat and the mouse hops onto his palm and promptly cleans his leaf-hat as if judging fashion.

Zap (to mouse, whisper-conspiratorial): “We hunt. Together. We not eat King Ping.”
The mouse blinks and then hops off. Zap solemnly bows.

He fashions a club that looks suspiciously like a branch with a peg on the end. He tries to make a trap and instead makes the trap into a very small, very useless wheel. He attempts to invent the wheel and instead invents a clumsy rolling stick that refuses to roll straight.

Zap (triumphant despite physics): “UGG WHEEL! UGG—ROLL!”
The stick rolls twice and falls into a puddle. Zap does not cry. He improvises a victory dance.

From the treeline, Sasha and Lazarus watch, leaning on guitars and drumsticks, trying not to laugh out loud.

Sasha (dry): “That is either the saddest wheel or the most optimistic one I’ve ever seen.”
Lazarus (softly smiling): “It’s performance art. Call it ‘proto-engineering.’”
Sasha: “Call it ‘don’t let him near our instruments.’”

⚡ Scene 2 — King Ping Tries To Fire Zap (and loses to nonsense)

King Ping is struttin’ the perimeter like he owns the wires, puffing tiny electro-balls from under his crown to make a point. He spies Zap doing the “noble spear wobble” and decides to assert authority — because what else does a mafia-style king do at midnight but bark indulgent orders?

King Ping (royal boom): “YOU! SMALL WIRED MAN—WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SECTOR? YOU ARE—YOU ARE—”
He pauses for effect, smiles his wired smile.

King Ping (louder, theatrical): “YOU’RE FIRED!”

He expects the performance to land like thunder. Zap pauses, looks up, and slowly tilts his leaf-hat. He thinks it’s a compliment.

Zap (bright, confused): “YOU—HURR—FIRE? NO! FIRE GOOD. Zap like fire.”
He leans forward, pokes the fire, then gives the King a thumbs-up. “You fired me? I no work. I happy. We friend?”

King Ping (aghast, voice fracturing): “I DID NOT MEAN—THAT WAS A DECLARATION, A FORMAL—APPLY—”
He glares, he charges an electro-ball to intimidate. Zap grins, claps, and instinctively tries to pet the sparking orb like a puppy.

Zap (delighted): “Oh! SPARK SPARK! Hi spark.”
The electro-ball fizzes, fizzles, and — for reasons only the island understands — sputters harmlessly into Zap’s leaf-hat and dies like a tiny light bulb. Zap howls in delight.

King Ping (furious, sputtering): “YOU’RE FIRED. YOU’RE FIRED!”
The phrase loses all menace. Nearby tributes who have heard “You’re fired” a thousand times roll their eyes.

Sasha (calling from the trees): “Ping, it’s not working. He’s a feature, not a bug.”
Goobert (mildly amused): “:3 he’s cute.”
Gambler (absent, coin long gone): — (nobody can find him; he left earlier.)

King Ping stomps, declares more firings at stones, and the stones — if they could feel shame — would shrug.

King Ping (grumbling as he leaves): “You cannot be fired if you have no employer! Preposterous!”
He paces off to invent other indignities to shout at birds.

🍗 Scene 3 — Zap Keeps Accidentally Helping People

Despite being nonsense incarnate, Zap’s caveman idiocy accidentally benefits the camps:

He attempts to catch fish by simply sitting in a shallow stream and making wild hand motions. He flings the first catch out of the water in an arc that lands directly into Oliver’s waiting pot. Oliver’s jaw drops.

Oliver (surprised and grateful): “You did that on purpose?”
Zap (proud grunt): “Zap good fisher. Maybe not smart-hunt.”
Shovel Man (grumbling, but smiling): “He ripped something out of the water with his bare hands. I don’t want to know how.”

Later, Zap wanders near a trap someone left poorly covered. He trips over the rope, causing the snare to fire and scare off a prowling scavenger — inadvertently protecting Blobie and Cumulus who were sleeping nearby.

Cumulus (yawing): “That was… brave, Zap.”
Zap (boasting): “Zap save. Zap hero. Zap caveman king.”
Blobie (soft, blinking): “baby Zap good… mouse friend.”

🌲 Scene 4 — The Camp Reacts (everyone has an opinion)

Word travels fast. At the next communal fire, the cast convenes to watch Zap do his dumb rituals as if it’s a low-rent variety show.

Gerson (amused, to Wembry): “Sometimes the court jester saves a kingdom on accident.”
Wembry (smiling, pebble in shoe): “He’s… harmless.”
Sector (glinting quietly): “glass—observe—harmless.”
Middle Finger Cat (dry, from a stump): “He’s loud and wrong, but he gets things done. Don’t romanticize him.”
Skrunkly (sitting very still, voice small): “He’s cute. I like him quiet.”

Mike (sidling up, whispering): “Zap is content content. I could make a one-man show about a caveman who can’t be fired—sell out the crowd—”
Scampton (half-hushed, watching): “[WE’LL DO A ‘ZAP GOES PROTO’ MINIGAME!!]”

If you listen, the exact tone is a mix of exasperation and fondness. Zap is a standing, bumbling punchline the island seems to need.

🔧 Scene 5 — Zap’s Small Growth (yes, even comic relief can grow)

Even a dumbass can have one small moment of actual learning. He watches Sector practice new morphs and imitates them with wildly inappropriate materials: leaves, glass shards, and two small sticks. His attempt to mimic a glass rope becomes a lopsided wreath, but he tries again and again until he ties a decent knot.

Sector (encouraging, simple): “glass—practice—good.”
Zap (beaming): “Zap learn! Zap not fired. Zap useful.”

For once Zap understands a tiny thing: practice helps. He naps with a stick as a spear like a small, civilized teddy bear.

🕯️ Scene 6 — Later That Night — King Ping’s Frustration Boils Over (and fizzles)

King Ping, humiliated by his inability to assert his “you’re fired” supremacy over a literally unemployed caveman, tries one last tactic: he brings a pair of hench-robots (two wiry rodent-things) to “escort” Zap out in theatrical style.

King Ping (grandiose, to robots): “Retrieve him. Remove him from my perimeter. Make an example!”
The robots approach — and Zap, blissfully unaware, offers them a leaf-hat and a rock. He hands them each a pebble, muttering “gift.”

Robot One (mechanical, confused by gesture): “GIFT PROTOCOL UNDEFINED.”
Robot Two: “ERROR: CONFLICTING INPUT.”

They stand there, looking like two bureaucrats unsure of their job description. Meanwhile Zap hands them both a “friendship pebble” and runs off, giggling.

King Ping (stomps, then sighs): “This is not my kingdom.”
He turns his crown away as if the wires were smoldering shame. A part of the island, watching, decides he’s quietly ridiculous.

🌌 Final Scene — Zap Sleeps, Happy and Undefeated

Zap curls atop his lumpy pile of leaves, the little wheel beside him, glass-rope wreath on his chest like a medal. He hums a nonsense tune and dreams of fires that never go out and fish that leap perfectly into pots.

Zap (murmur as he drifts): “Zap... happy. Zap not fired. Zap friend mouse.”
Sasha (watching from the ridge, muttering): “He’s a walking sitcom.”
Lazarus (soft drum-roll): “Best comic relief we’ve had in months.”

Sasha (to Lazarus): “We should write a song for him. ‘Zap the Unfireable.’”
Lazarus (grinning): “Catchy.”

Across the forest, King Ping mutters at some vines and practices yelling “YOU’RE FIRED” at inanimate logs until someone drags him away to plot more serious things. He will remain dangerous — but nowhere near as terrifying as he thinks he is tonight.

🔁 Quick Arc Updates (short, direct — continuing character growth)

Sector: Practices more complex morphs, gains small respect, has a quiet hero’s sleep tonight. They’re slowly becoming the camp’s secret weapon.

Wembry: Keeps doing extra watches; learns to give simple commands and receives gentle praise from Oliver and Shovel Man. Her pebble technique is helping her steady reflexes.

Mike CrowFone: Watches Zap and drafts an idea for a one-man show: “ZAP: THE UNFIREABLE”. He mutters lines to himself, eyes glittering with delusions of future applause. (He’s still unstable, but tonight’s nonsense keeps him from imploding.)

Middle Finger Cat: Continues to act as cold survivalist. He ignores Zap mostly, but he sometimes leaves a small stash of dried meat near Zap’s fire because he doesn’t like watching anyone be useless and cold.

Skrunkly: Small steps: she sits through one whole song without flailing. Sector’s bravery inspires her to try being present, slowly and shakily.

✨ Closing — The Island Accepts Its Clown

Night 13 ends with a ridiculous, tender little truth: sometimes the person you least expect to care for you is the one who refuses to be condemned. Zap is dumb. Zap is annoying. Zap is, somehow, immune to being fired by a wire-king. The camp needs him as a mirror of absurdity — and tonight, in a world gone mad, that is a tiny, precious gift.

Zap (murmuring in sleep): “Zap—caveman—good… not fired.”

LMAOAO