🚪 NEW ARRIVAL 1 – Ernst Richter
A tired man in a lab coat walks up, hands behind his back. Acid scars visible.
Ernst:
“Ernst Richter. Chemist. Do not shake hands – skin exposure is unsafe.”
Spamton:
“WELL HELLO [[CLICK NOW]] YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’VE SURVIVED 70% OFF HAND DISINTEGRATION—”
Ernst (calmly):
“Yes.”
Silent pause.
Steve:
“…Welcome aboard.”
🌙 NEW ARRIVAL 2 – Virian
A larger, energetic Eevee-like creature bounces in, purple fur glittering, star motifs shimmering. The blue gem on her chest pulses with excitement.
Virian:
“HI EVERYONE!! I’M VIRIAN!! I’M HERE TO WIN, MAKE FRIENDS, AND MAYBE SHOW YOU MY MOON BLAST IF YOU ASK—NOT BRAGGING BUT IT’S TOTALLY COOL—”
Steve:
“No powers needed.”
Virian (already upside-down doing a handstand):
“Too late!!”
A small moonlight puff fires upward and explodes like a sparkler. Luigi falls off his log.
Luigi:
“Mama mia…”
🔥 NEW ARRIVAL 3 – Beans
A shredded, burnt Freddy Fazbear knockoff stomps forward holding a tablet.
Beans:
“.”
He clicks play. A deafening Bowser fart GIF blares across the camp.
Steve:
“…Turn that off.”
Beans: increases volume
Explosion sound. A tiny fireball ignites the grass.
Springtrap (clapping):
“I like him.”
😾 NEW ARRIVAL 4 – Middle Finger Cat
A scruffy cat with zero tolerance walks forward, glaring at everyone.
Middle Finger Cat:
“Don’t. Talk. To me.”
She raises her middle finger at the entire team.
Joe Metri Desh (from behind):
“DID YOU KNOW that in 1643 the first documented middle finger was—”
Middle Finger Cat (immediately):
“I will end you.”
👻 NEW ARRIVAL 5 – Golden Freddy
A large faded yellow bear animatronic with pitch-black eyes approaches silently.
Golden Freddy (low voice):
“…Hello.”
Everyone flinches at the eerie tone.
Golden Freddy:
“I promise I’m chill.”
Steve:
“…Welcome.”
Spamton (nervous):
“Can I offer you a [[DISCOUNTED]] mattress cleaning—”
Golden Freddy:
“No.”
📐 NEW ARRIVAL 6 – Joe Metri Desh
A bald man with a cubic head sprints forward and jumps over the entire campfire.
Joe Metri Desh (landing perfectly):
“DID YOU KNOW? Geometry Dash is based on my suffering.”
Steve:
“We know.”
Joe:
“…I can jump.”
He jumps again unnecessarily.