Me borderline... Him narcissist. Such a dangerous situation...

Are you diagnosed as BPD?

No... But I feel that way... Everything about the BDP is included on my personality: fears, insecurity, need of support and approval by other people (especially if I find them attractive or interesting), a very painful jealousy about adult people being kind with other younger males too (if I see some adult who i care or respect talking or joking with someone else on his 20s or more younger), fear of getting replaced by some adult friend of mine, fear of never find a girlfriend of a woman, fear that one will ever loves me and they'll always say others are better than me

That’s a fair amount of insecurities for sure. But insecurity doesn’t equal BPD always.
Self-diagnosis of anything isn’t real, because you’re not an independent observer.
People with BPD or other personality disorders (sociopathy, histrionic particularly) would find it difficult to have the insight to self-diagnose even if it was a thing.
A real personality disordered person would argue that they are NOT what they possibly are. Autism and adhd are different agin. Those people tend to think something is wrong with them, and the light goes on when they get their diagnosis. So much of what they’ve been through makes sense once they know how their brain works differently.
Of course, all that insight does require a decent level of intelligence. Someone with a very low intelligence level (bottom 2-3%) couldn’t have that sort of insight.
I think you have many self doubts and are smart enough to realise some issues you have, but potentially underestimate your good points.
Here’s a question for you: if your life changed for the better, who would be the least surprised?

Thanks for the support brattmann... Well it's true that a very twisted person isn't aware of what's going through them, but if i feel that way, it's 100% sure I'm going though something. Let's say it's not BDP, then what you think could be?

Insecurity. So much insecurity that you might be patholigising perfectly normal human experience. Everyone questions their worth at times. EVERYONE.
It’s not particularly targeted to you or your feelings, but:
the Diagnostic Statistics Manual (DSM) is a “ Bible” of psychological diagnosis.
There’s a book called “Saving Normal.” Written by a psychologist who was on the DSM committee revising the DSMs before DSM V. Just one example of pathologising normal human experience is that, under the DSM V, if you lose your life partner and find yourself feeling down for more than 2 weeks, you technically have “major depressive episode”. Imagine if you’ve been in a relationship for 10 years and live together. They die in a car crash. You still feel sad and feel down 15 days later. That’s just normal grief, not a mental illness.

You have so many self doubts you’ve self-diagnosed with a rare mental health disorder, one which people will refuse to accept that they have. You MIGHT have a personality disorder, but it’s just statistically very unlikely.
I’m a different case. What I have been through is extremely unusual. “Of course you have PTSD” I’ve been told.
Trauma changes people. That’s normal too.
People are resilient. That’s normal too.
Even after major trauma, people can still feel simple joy at times. I do, and I’m working on trying to even out my moods and accepting my new normal. I’m now on my 4th or 5th new normal. It’s hard, but life is worth it.

Thanks for your support again... Yeah maybe you're right, these thoughts that control my minds aren't something that concerns the borderline disorder, maybe it's just frustration, Insecurity and extremely sadness due to years of suffering. I never had a girl that ever told me that she loves me cause they used to find me handsome but boring, it's so painful sometimes to still think about. For what concerns the adults instead is that i really care about their perspective and I still find some adult people attractive too, so I guess is this the reason that brings to me to become jealous if I see some adult person joking or talking with some other male around my age or younger. I have also the fear that an adult could prefer other youth male above me... A real painful situation 😞

I'm very sorry for what you went through tho, I'm here if you want to talk about it...

Yeah Italy has had high unemployment for a long time. After WWII, we had a lot of Italian migrants come out here, a lot from the south, and smaller villages.
There are people here whose ancestors married someone from the same region even after they had migrated.
Doesn’t Italy have a really ageing population now? Surely there’s work available in the aged care sector?

I guess you answered to the wrong comment. On there we were talking about my probably borderline disorder

Comment chain got too long.
What about family support? You mentioned cousin

My cousin Ivan... Yes... (Dunno why they called him with a Russian name but his real name is Giuseppe) is s piece of shit like Eros, they even used to work together.

For luck i have a lovely brother tho and very good parents

Well in my city any condominium has more 70s-80s that people around my parents or uncles age