I feel like this would actually slap

You have accomplished the unaccomplishable

imagine telling someone you peeled them an orange and give them this

how tf does one do this? is this witchcraft at its finest?

Step 2: Squeeze it on a paper cut.

me who bites my nails/skin around my nails this would be torture for me

Same

Oh no, not you! 3:
Well, you may be excluded...