haha this is so stupid

Take my can, I'll drink it I swear

PEPSI ON A CHAAAIIRR

Here is the rival (tbh I prefer coke but Pepsi is ehh kinda all right Ig)

Dr Pepper on a desk

Look at this Pepsi chair

IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIZARD ON A CHAIR!

That genuinely would make more sense

What prayers should I read so that it doesn't come for my soul?

nice

And for some reason, you actually hear Jon Bon Jovi sing, "Pepsi on a chair"

what is the song?

living on a prayer by bon jovi

I think

It is

PEPSI ON A CHAIR!!