Every pattern
in your life
repeats until you learn
the lesson.
Or you die.
The moment you choose
differently, the cycle ends
and growth begins. It's easy to abort that process by getting yourself
universally afraid and reverting to the same
old choices again, in such a way
as to disguise them to yourself.
It's easy to convince yourself it's a win.
It has a high risk of becomming permanent.
The familiarity is comforting, and the pain
and stress of change and trusting new things is gone.
This is a confirming feeling, cloaking your decision to
abandon growth and follow the same paths as before,
with even more fervent trust.
You will inevitably be more confrontational, feel
empowered and disguise your old choices in new clothes.
You'll pretend to impose boundaries that
you will end up violating, that aren't even real to begin with.
Maybe it will be with old people, old haunts, just
adopt a new version of an old way of thinking, or find a new cult.
But you won't get out, until you stop being afraid enough
to see reality long enough to get yourself to safety,
and you will probably need someone to help.
It's easy to repeat this process. You have to
stay aware, and give yourself some slack, too.
