YES, THIS IS A REAL MOVIE; THE PLOT IS EVEN MORE UNHINGED. JENS, A 16-YEAR-OLD BOY, GOES ON A CAMPING TRIP WITH HIS FRIENDS TO A CABIN. ONE OF THE GIRLS IS LISA, JENS’ CRUSH FROM THE PREVIOUS SUMMER WHO MOVED AFTER HER FATHER GOT A JOB IN OSLO. DURING A GAME OF TRUTH OR DARE, JENS IS DARED TO KISS LISA AND AFTERWARDS THE TWO HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME. INSIDE JENS’ TESTICLES LIVES A SOCIETY OF SPERM CELLS. A YOUNG SPERM CELL NAMED SIMEN SPRUT IS OSTRACISED DUE TO NOT HAVING ANY INTEREST IN TAKING PART IN THE RACE TO THE EGG. HIS ONLY FRIEND CUMILLA HOWEVER, TRIES TO GET HIM TO TAKE AN INTEREST. MEANWHILE JIZZMO, AN ENTREPRENEUR SPERM CELL, CREATES AN ARMOURED SUIT CALLED THE EJACULATOR 9000 WHICH ALLOWS HIM TO FIGHT THROUGH ANYTHING THAT WILL PREVENT HIM FROM GETTING TO THE EGG, INCLUDING KILLING OTHER SPERM WHICH HE DEMONSTRATES BY BRUTALLY KILLING A WORKER. DURING JENS’ FIRST EJACULATION, JIZZMO CUTS OPEN THE CONDOM WHICH ALLOWS HIM AND OTHER SPERM CELLS TO ENTER LISA’S VA**NA. SIMEN UPSETS CUMILLA WHEN HE HOLDS HER BACK FROM ENTERING JENS’ URETHRA. MEANWHILE, JENS AND LISA HAVE SEX AGAIN. HOWEVER, DUE TO JENS BEING TIRED FROM THE PREVIOUS INTERCOURSE, AND ALSO DUE TO HIM HAVING BRUISED BOTH HIS EYES, ENDS UP PENETRATING LISA’S ANUS. THIS TIME, SIMEN AND CUMILLA, ALONG WITH THEIR TEACHER PROFESSOR SALTSMAK AND CLASSMATE ETTERSKVETT (AFTERSQUIRT) ENTER THE URETHRA BUT UNFORTUNATELY END UP IN LISA’S RECTUM. THERE, THEY MEET AN E-COLI WHO GUIDES THEM TO LISA’S SYSTEM WHERE THEY TRAVEL THROUGH HER BLADDER AND MANAGE TO SWING ON HER PUBIC HAIRS INTO HER VA**NA WHILE SHE IS URINATING. HOWEVER, ETTERSKVETT ENDS UP FALLING TO HIS DEATH. LISA APPLIES SPERMICIDE WHICH KILLS MANY OF THE SPERM INSIDE HER UTERUS, INCLUDING SALTSMAK. MEANWHILE, A TRIO OF GANGSTER SPERMS LED BY EGON OLSÆD WHO ARE ON A MISSION TO ENTER THE EGG AND BECOME TRIPLETS TRY TO GET THE SPERMICIDE TO KILL JIZZMO BUT HE ESCAPES AND INSTEAD KILLS EGON’S FRIENDS BENNER’N AND BJELL. JIZZMO THEN TRIES TO KILL THE OTHER SPERM CELLS BUT IS STOPPED BY EGON WHO CAUSES JIZZMO’S SUIT TO SELF-DESTRUCT, SACRIFICING HIMSELF, KILLING THE SPERMICIDE AND ALLOWING THE OTHER SPERM CELLS, INCLUDING SIMEN AND CUMILLA TO SWIM TO THE EGG.