I banged a teletubby because I didn't like the way she looked at me, brb imma go kill myself

i cuddled with my lover because i have a noodle in my nose

I STABBED A [CORN] STAR BECAUSE IM SEXY LIKE THAT

i beat the trojan man because i have amazing boobs

😭

i ate an Easter egg because i have abs

I ran naked with homer because hoes keep stealing my tacos

I stabbed my boyfriend because I love to snort cocaine
Sorry for stabbing, sorry for having s9meone else, and sorry I took all the lust dust.

"I cuddle with a mop because I have a noodle in my nose" HITS HARD🤣

I banged a bowl of cereal because it had AMAZING boobs

Thank ya

What

me next

😭

i stabbed a dog because I have AMAZING BOOBS