That’s autistic

Gonna spike all the department of transportation's coffees with Tylonol so the United States will finally have a high-speed rail system

Okay, serious time:
1. Tylenol does not cause autism, there is very weak correlation, not causation
2. Autism is not a disease that needs to be cured, what it needs to be is accepted. I should not be forced to change because you want to uphold the status quo that was created specifically for people like yourself.
3. People are doing this as a joke to make fun of the incompitance of our president and secretary of health
4. Saying "that's autistic" is kinda offensive
5. As punishment for you bigotry, I will now preform a classic autistic info dump:
As part of the Colombian Exchange, the Europeans broke treaties, transmitted diseases and committed atrocities against the native tribes, so what did they receive in return? Well the natives dished out violence of their own with the goal of pushed the colonists of New England back into the sea. This is the story of King Philip's War:
Let's start this with a question, who was King Philip? Well the answer is quite interesting. Do you who Massasoit was? Well he was one of the Native chiefs that participated in the first thanksgiving, and was instrumental in the creation of positive relations between the local tribes and the pilgrims. King Philip was his son.(Quick note, King Philip was his Christian name while his native name was Metacom, we’ll use the former for sake of simplicity). When the generation of settlers and natives who participated in that first thanksgiving died, the peace died too. Now like most times a treaty was broken in colonial America, the European settlers were at fault and King Philip did not let that slide. The colonists were insisting that the Wampanoag and surrounding tribes give up their guns, saying that the treaty that the two sides signed in 1671 required them to(This treaty was completely one-sided and the tribes gained nothing in return). They almost completely ignored the pleas by the tribes to stop their livestock from invading native farms and hunting grounds. More and more grievances piled up and up. The patience was growing thin. Then it happened, the final straw, the event that would send New England spiraling into chaos.
King Philip had had enough, he had to do something and he needed help. Going around to all the local tribes, he acquired allies to raid colonial villages and teach the Europeans that the can’t be pushed around like that. But there was a snitch, a praying indian by the name of John Sassamon who served as a middle man between the tribes and the colonists. He

Info dump pt 2
told the colonial leaders of the plan and the next time he was seen, he was at the bottom of Assawompset Pond with a broken neck. The colonies arrested 3 Wampanoag and hung them for the murder of the praying indian. (Side note: The pond was also part of a land dispute between the tribes and the colonies but conveniently when the colonists arrested some of the natives, the land was suddenly theirs) Now King Philip and the other tribal leaders felt that the hanging of the 3 Wampanoag was the English overstepping their jurisdiction and unacceptable. The execution of these three men was the first “shots” of the bloodiest war per capita in American history. By the end of this conflict, 30% of the english colonial population would be dead with the natives suffering even more losses than that.

On June 20th, 1675 a band of Pokanoket(a subdivision of Wampanoag) attacked the English village of Swansea likey against the wishes of King Philip. They burned a few homes and left. However on the 23rd, an English boy saw a Pokanoket outside his how and was instructed to fire a rifle, killing him. This enraged the entire Pokanoket tribe and they returned the next day to launch a full scale attack, killing 3. This kept snowballing and snowballing until on the 28th, the colonies sent a militia to the native village at Mount Hope, Rhode Island, destroying the entire settlement(Tensions were not helped by the fact the a total lunar eclipse had occurred the day prior, a phenomena that many of the natives took as a sign that total victory would be theirs)

Word of the violence in Massachusetts and Rhode quickly spread and by the middle of summer, the Podunk and Nipmuc tribes would be involved in the conflict. By the end of the summer, the english settlements of Middleborough, Dartmouth, Mendon, Brookfield, Lancaster, Deerfield, Hadley, and Northfield had all suffered native raids. The attack on Brookfield was especially consequential as it led to an official declaration of war by the colonies. This allowed a band of Nipmuc to have a clear conscience when the ambushed a wagon train of crops guarded by 79 militia men on a road between the towns of Hadley and Deerfield. 57 colonists did not make it off that road. The town of Springfield was next up, and after the dust settled and the raiders were drove off, anything that could burn was reduced to ashes.

Info dump pt 3
Now some tribes such as the Narragansett attempted to stay neutral but on September 2nd, the colonists had different plans. With an army of Plymouth, Massachusetts, and Connecticut militia, they preemptively attack the Narragansett by burning their villages. The displaced natives all fled to a well-constructed fort in the middle of a frozen swamp. They could only hide for so long. On December 19th, the colonial militia finally found the fort and with a force of 1000 men attacked and burned the settlement, killing over 600 Narragansett and destroying their food stores. Only 70 militiamen died, leading this attack to be known as a massacre, not a battle.

This became kinda the rhythm of the war; Natives raiders would attack a settlement, burn it and run off, then the colonists would massacre a completely unrelated group. It basically became a game of cat and mouse with no winners. The English had the clear numbers and technology advantage but they were so incompetent, that the Wampanoag and company could probably have left them alone and won the war. The natives also could have won easily but their strategy of burn a town and run away did not allow them to capitalize on their victories. These factors led to an endless cycle of attacks and revenge.
Many of King Philip's allies deserted him during the summer of 76, growing tired of the fighting. It all culminated in the killing of King Philip at Mount Hope on August 12th. Fittingly enough, in a great metaphor for the incompetence of both sides, he was spotted by a colonist and a native ally and the colonist’s musket misfired. It was the Indian by the name of John Alderman who’s shot was fatal.

This war was the final real chance the tribes of America to push the Europeans back into the sea and they were pretty damn close. Now perhaps the most consequential thing to come from the conflict was how England’s government reacted. Because of how badly the colonies handled the situation, they had a lot of their autonomy stripped. Up until the war, they basically acted as their own nation but now England would be a lot more direct with how they ruled their overseas colonies. The laws, taxes and culture that arose from this depletion of self-rule would spark a revolution a hundred years later, The American Revolution(Super dramatic dun, dun, DUNNNN!!!!!!!)