made a better version

im an axolotl what the f**k is that copypasta

you need to embrace your larger brain and opposable thumbs moron

show that to masq

I, M24, went to Mexico, got to Lake Xochimilco, and f**ked an axolotl in the ass. Hard. But I ended up causing the creature to explode. They just look so motherf**king cute, I swear to god. But let me explain. It all began twelve years ago when I was 12, I first heard of axolotls via an Internet post and how they were a critically endangered and almost extinct species. I felt so sorry for them, but after I looked up images of what they looked like, my sorrow was drowned out by lust. They looked so cute, so soft, so adorable. And I had no idea why. I had never really liked girls, but axolotls just seemed to fit in that gap in my heart. Particularly, the leucistic ones were the ones I found the most attractive. Throughout my childhood, I never told my parents or any of my siblings, relatives, or friends about this. I was worried that they would never accept me for who I was. They had always generally assumed that I just hadn't found a woman yet that I liked.

But, after that fateful day, I swore that one day I would mate myself with a lovely axolotl. And, to me, there seemed like no place better to do so than in an axolotl's natural habitat. But how would I just go and do that? I was twelve. Fast forward twelve years later to now in 2024. I had recently gotten a job and was planning a vacation to Mexico City alone. I simply told my friends and family that I wanted a break from life. Mexico seemed like a plausible-enough place to go vacation to. But, secretly, I would go to Lake Xochimilco, find an axolotl, and make sweet, passionate love to it. And over the course of last week, that's exactly what I did. I had previously read many books on axolotls and learned that axolotls are generally found in the chinampas, or artificial islands, in Lake Xochimilco. I sneaked and creeped up to the lake and made sure nobody saw me, and then I used binoculars, scouring the lake for any chinampas close enough to land for me to feasibly swim to there.

Why did I read every last word

i read the first sentence and quit

because youre a weak pathetic fool.

you’re the one who couldn’t help but go looking for it.

*screaming* weak pathetic fool.... *skull crush* *evil laugh*
is that your best?

anyway you wouldnt get the reference

i was joking anyway

NO

I swam instead of bringing a boat primarily because it's easier to run away without a boat - plus, I didn't want to buy one. I saw one about twenty feet off the coast, so I began swimming. I then found an axolotl. For the very first time in my life, I had seen an axolotl not only in real life but even in its natural habitat. Making love in its natural habitat seemed even more erotic to me. Immediately I undressed. The sheer eroticness of it all caused me to ejaculate very hard into the axolotl, and I soon orgasmed. The axolotl squealed and tensed erratically around my dick before exploding due to the sheer amount of semen that I packed into it. While initially excited that I had just lost my virginity to an axolotl, the explosion that followed about five seconds after shocked me. It turned me off immensely from axolotls. I can say with certainty that from that point in time I never felt sexually attracted to an axolotl ever again. I washed myself off in the lake before putting my clothes back on and swimming back to the coast. Frightened from the entire experience, I took an early flight home back to Chicago. I've decided that I should get my life together and talk to a therapist every Tuesday.

what the f**k??

ez noob TRASH get rekt lmao 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😆😆 get gud yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the superbowl
ez no father ezzzzzzzzzzzz

why did i need to see this

I, M24, went to Mexico, got to Lake Xochimilco, and f**ked an axolotl in the ass. Hard. But I ended up causing the creature to explode. They just look so motherf**king cute, I swear to god. But let me explain. It all began twelve years ago when I was 12, I first heard of axolotls via an Internet post and how they were a critically endangered and almost extinct species. I felt so sorry for them, but after I looked up images of what they looked like, my sorrow was drowned out by lust. They looked so cute, so soft, so adorable. And I had no idea why. I had never really liked girls, but axolotls just seemed to fit in that gap in my heart. Particularly, the leucistic ones were the ones I found the most attractive. Throughout my childhood, I never told my parents or any of my siblings, relatives, or friends about this. I was worried that they would never accept me for who I was. They had always generally assumed that I just hadn't found a woman yet that I liked.

But, after that fateful day, I swore that one day I would mate myself with a lovely axolotl. And, to me, there seemed like no place better to do so than in an axolotl's natural habitat. But how would I just go and do that? I was twelve. Fast forward twelve years later to now in 2024. I had recently gotten a job and was planning a vacation to Mexico City alone. I simply told my friends and family that I wanted a break from life. Mexico seemed like a plausible-enough place to go vacation to. But, secretly, I would go to Lake Xochimilco, find an axolotl, and make sweet, passionate love to it. And over the course of last week, that's exactly what I did. I had previously read many books on axolotls and learned that axolotls are generally found in the chinampas, or artificial islands, in Lake Xochimilco. I sneaked and creeped up to the lake and made sure nobody saw me, and then I used binoculars, scouring the lake for any chinampas close enough to land for me to feasibly swim to there.