copypasta in comments

Hello my friend, this is a moderator of CornHub™. We have noticed you haven't logged in for 4 weeks, we're just checking to see that everything is okay with our biggest fan. Since you visited us last time we've updated the Gay section with many videos we know you will enjoy. See you soon

So the other day, I was playing rainbow six siege, and I heard one of my teammates make a callout in the voice chat. It was a real life gamer girl. God, I kid you not, I just stopped playing and pulled my dick out. “f**k, F**k!” I was yelling in voice chat. I just wanted to hear her voice again. “Please,” I moaned. But she left the lobby. I was crying and covered in my own cum, but I remembered that I could find recent teammates in the ubiplay friends tab. I frantically closed down siege and opened the tab, to find out she had TTV IN HER NAME!!! She was streaming, and only had 100 viewers!!! The competition was low, so I made the first move and donated my months rent to her. I was already about to pre. She read my donation in the chat. God this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I did a little research, and found out where she goes to school, but I am a little nervous to talk to her in person, and need support. Any advice before my Uber gets to her middle school?

WHAT

yes

I do need capital. And votes. Wanna know why? "I have a dream." That one day, every person in this nation will control their OWN destiny. A land of the TRULY free, dammit. A nation of ACTION, not words. Ruled by STRENGTH, not committee. Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around. Where power and justice are back where they belong: in the hands of the people! Where every man is free to think -- to act -- for himself! F**k all these limp-dick lawyers and chicken-shit bureaucrats. F**k this 24/7 Internet spew of trivia and celebrity bullshit. F**k "American pride". F**k the media! F**k all of it! America is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it -- we need to pull it out by the roots. WIpe the slate clean. BURN IT DOWN! And from the ashes, a new America will be born. Evolved, but untamed! The weak will be purged, and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit, they will make America GREAT AGAIN!

What the hell are you talking about?

You still don't get it. I'm using war as a business to get elected... so I can end war as a business! In my new America, people will die and kill for what they BELIEVE! Not for money, not for oil! Not for what they're told is right. Every man will be free to fight his own wars!

You're right, you're not crazy... YOU'RE BATSHIT INSANE

*Surprised senator face

*i push you off*

*looks around before looking under

Go***mnit! We're making the mother of all omelettes here Jack! Can't fret over every egg

*i get punched to the other side of the cart*

Cart? Gng we thinking about the same game

idk what to call it

was it the arm of the metal gear?

The top of the excelsus

ahhh

DrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrakeDrake

Is that all you shitposting f**ks can say?!? Duurrhhlll... Based, based, cringe, cringe, based, based, cringe, cringe, cringe, based, cringe... I feel like I'm in a F**KING asylum full of dementia-ridden old people that can do nothing but repeat the same F**KING words on loop like a f**king broken record!!! Cringe cringe cringe cringe!!! Cringe, based, based! Onions? Onions, SNOYY!! Onions L O L onions! Cringe, BOOMER?? Le zoomer, I am BOOMER!!! No zoom zoom zoomies!! Zoomer going zoomies!! YnnnggGGHHAAHH I..F**KING hate the internet so go***AMN much... F**K! Shitposting, honest to...god...f**king hope your mother CHOKES on her own feces in hell you...COCK SUCKER. But oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh I know my post is CRINGE!! ISN'T IT??? Cringe, cringe, CRINGEY cringe, based, cringe, based, REDDIT?? CRINGE!! BASED? CRINGE!! ZOOM?? CRINGE!! ONIONS?? REDDIT, BASED....BASED!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So at first you read the story, then you see all the funny sentences, you tell others about it maybe talk about it a little too much, so so much in fact that you hop off your screen but the words oh the normal words you start hearing them everywhere you go on your phone you see a couple announcing that today is their two year anniversary; funny maybe just a little funny but then you see more more phrases being said, said everywhere and on every social media app you can't escape it you even think about it when you hear something about sex or music you go outside but you can't stop thinking about it CBAT CBAT CBAT you run; maybe food with calm you but it does not help 2 YEARS 2 YEARS TODAY I F**KED UP it's every wher'e you cannt get it to s̸̟̀ẗ̸̜́o̴̘̾p̶̱͂ THEY are in h̷̝̔̇è̴͚a̵̘̟̾d̸͉̾͠ Th3Y won't g̷̥͂̋ọ̵̮̐̇ ̸̭̑a̵̝̅w̴̻͖̾ȁ̸͓̬͒y̴̙̫̔̔ MY GIRLFRIEND HATES MY SEX MUSIC ThEy won't d get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head g̴e̶t̷ ̴o̵u̴t̷ ̸o̵f̴ ̷m̴y̶ ̸h̶e̵a̸d̵ ̸ ģ̵͕̒ē̸͉͠ṭ̷̗̊͘ ̶̳̏̎o̸̡͕͂u̸͙̝͐t̸̳͛̿ ̴̢̄ő̷͓̽f̴̰̗̄ ̵͓̚͠m̵̢̨͛y̷̟̚ ̴̦͝h̸͍͓̔e̷̟̓a̴͖͒͊ͅd̴̘̄͋ ̵̜̗͗͝ g̶̟̥͑e̶̩͛t̵̮͒ ̴̡̠͗̕o̷̘̫͛u̷͖̒̚t̶͉̜̔̈́ ̸̰̎͂͜ọ̸͎͒́f̸̮̫̀͂ ̴̤̚m̶̨̱͌̈ȳ̴̱ ̴̢̩̏̅h̴̨͉̄̇e̸̳̺̿̊a̴̜̔d̵̮̑ ̷̬̐̏ģ̴̵̶̷̶̴̛͔̺͈͎̖͕̣̫̈̐̒̀̒̃̑͛͝ȩ̸̸̷̵̶̶̩̝͉̹̺͉͚̔̿̓̄̉̀̆͠͝t̸̷̷̸̸̴̸̬̟̟̜̙͕̣̰̗͈̂̎͒̊͑͋̈́̕͘͘͠ ̸̶̴̵̷̸̦̩̠̫̻̳͈̏̈́̎̆̍͒͝͠o̴̸̶̴̸̶̡͔̮̼͉͙͕̠͂̈́͂̃͋̏́u̴̸̸̸̷̶͖͍͚͙̮̝͈̥̓̇̎͐̂͊̍͆̒̅ț̷̸̴̶̵̷̣͓͕̪̳͚̉̾͛̀̿̆̍̇ͅ ̵̴̷̴̸̢̨̢͖̞̼͙̻̎̾̆̄̆̒̕͝͠ȏ̷̷̷̴̷̶̮̩̩̹̫̱̰͓̟͔͒̋͗̇̽̽͐͗f̴̴̵̸̸̷̣̳̪͈̰̩̟̗̈̆̄́̌̃͘͜͠ ̴̵̸̶̶̴̧̨̛̛̜̞̖̯̞͓̬̀̉̑̌̄̈́̚͠m̴̵̴̵̵̸̢̨͔̟̻͕̬̰͒͛̊̀̓͑̏̚ͅỹ̸̷̸̸̷̛̺͍͈̞̦͇̟̹̒̈́͊͛̄̚ ̴̴̸̸̸̣̥͍̟̲̦̦̾͆̊͐̔̚͝͠ͅh̸̸̸̶̴̶̼͈͓͚̪͉͍͖͚͓̻̎̌̿̔́̂̑̈e̷̷̶̵̴̖̱̯̫͕̟̖͚͑͋̀̓̑̂̇ͅa̴̴̵̴̴̷̵̧̧̤̫͇̮̪̩͖̣̘͂̒̀͒͐͊̏̉̏͊͑̓͘ͅd̸̴̶̸̵̸̡̢̛̺̭̤̘̩͊͆̓̄͊̂͋̒ͅ ̴̵̸̵̶̶̴̦̜̦̼̮͖̥̜̭̣̗̮͐̆͗̐́̎̒̚͠͝͝ g̴̛̮̊̀̃̈́̄̏̕ͅe̶̺̳̲̫͖̹̝̐̉̿͋͜t̴̩̎̒̀͝ ̸̼̱̒̀̃̿̉̈ͅö̵͓̝͚̱̰̺̟́ͅu̶̬̠̣͕̅̕͜t̷̡̖̉̔̈͊̋͛̓͝ ̶̲͚̃͊̏͠ờ̸̧̛̥̅f̷̧̧͙̟̣̺̼͒ ̶̫͌̊͗̏͝͝m̸̯̥̫̓̀͊̌̑̀̈́́y̷͓̖̘̬̹̩̗͐̀ ̴̛͙̪̲̉̾͗h̶͔̯̻͌̈̍͒ě̷̥͍̳̯̹̻̩a̵̜͔̜̖̎̃̐́̕ḑ̶̱̃͗͑̑́̿̕ ̵̢̳̦̼̍̇̏͂̈ğ̴̥̩̻̭̗̲͉̔͆̐̎ę̶̨̱̥̏̀̄̑̓͛̈́͝ͅt̶̺́̿ ̸̢̧̙͕̺̯̤̍̓̓̇͌̽̚ö̸͔̻́͛́̇̂̏͋ṵ̷̡̡͊̌̅̔̈́̈́͘ͅt̶̢̯͍̰̯̲͇̅̊̒ ̵͎͚̋̈́͋͋̿̃̄͘ő̷͔̗̺͉̗͎f̸̭̜̱̙͚̄̓̀ ̸̨̯̪̞͓͕̓m̴̧̭̿̒͊ÿ̸̨̺̳̩̯́̔͐̒̾͋͠ ̷͓͓͛̐̃̔̕ḥ̷̺̏̓̆̀ͅͅé̸̛̠̲̚a̸̮̩̠̞̐̊͘d̸͉͎͍̱̞̳̙̓͂ ̵̮̞͉͂̇͌̄̈͒̀g̸̭̱̽͊͑͛͋ȩ̴͎̰̲̅̎̿̉͐̓͗̑t̸̡̪͚͕͖̫͚̑͆͋̆͑͛̕͠ ̴̧̢͇͎̰̖̪͍͒͐͛̄̈͆̕̕o̷̖̯̮̤̬͍̳̜̎͂́̕u̵̙͉̙̻͚̾̎̎̀̊͐̆t̴̳̭̦͔͙͔͔͊̋͝ ̴̝̱̣̝̀̒́̏̐͒̀̊͜ǫ̵͖̠̺̬̀̍f̵̰̮̤̓́͝ ̵͔̱̹̫̼͚͠m̷͖̫̠͚̰͕͙̿̓͋́̋͊͝y̶͉̱̭̏ ̴̨̻̫̯̈́̓̕͘ḫ̸͉͕̲̜̣̭̜͛͠e̷͚̖͐́̾͂͋̚͝a̵͓̦͖̜̬͐̍̐͋̌d̸̡̫̺̽̋̒̆͗ ̶̺͖̙͐̊̈̔͘g̸͙͚̟̮̐e̵͓̘͖̤̋t̶̩̃̍̅͊ ̸̧

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as f**k, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is not a single thing about them. And I mean it.

Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, I heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. 🐳 Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea. 🤦🏿‍♀️

There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their philly steaks. ☝🏿️🤓 But these British people, what do they eat? 🤔 Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. 🌏 Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong. To me, it looks too sketchy.

What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my life on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"' person speaking their native language. Most of them just speak broken ENGLISH. 🗣️ Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUNDS like english, 👂🏿 just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. 😱 I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that British people do not exist. 💀

Be warned.

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter

WEE WOO WEE WOO

ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!

steps on stage

Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"

Comedy God: "Heh..."

adjusts fedora

the building is filled with fear and anticipation

God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense

comedy god clears throat

everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard

world leaders look and wait with dread

everything in the world stops

nothing is happening

comedy god smirks

no one is prepared for what is going to happen

comedy god musters all of this power

he bellows out to the world

"ATTACK"

absolute suspense

everyone is filled with overwhelming dread

"HELICOPTER"

all at once, absolute pandemonium commences

all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once

giant brawls start

43 wars are declared simultaneously

a shockwave travels around the earth

earth is driven into chaos

humanity is regressed back to the stone age

the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself

all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did

people who aren't killed die from laughter

literally the funniest joke in the world

then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma

How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?

TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.

I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?

Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill