HOW LONG CAN YOU SURVIVE TRYING TO ESCAPE NORTH KOREA? DAY 1: YOU WHISPER 'FREEDOM' TOO LOUD; DAY 2: NEIGHBOR'S CAT REPORTS YOU; DAY 3: BORDER GUARDS ALREADY KNOW YOUR NAME; DAY 4: YOU TRIED TO GOOGLE 'SOUTH KOREA'... THERE IS NO GOOGLE; DAY 5: SOMEONE ASKS WHY YOUR HAIR ISN'T STATE-APPROVED; DAY 6: YOU BLINK TOO PATRIOTICALLY; DAY 7: PRETEND LOYALTY TEST GETS YOU NERVOUS; DAY 8: KIM JONG-UN'S PORTRAIT SEES INTO YOUR SOUL; DAY 9: YOU TRIED TO BARTER A POTATO FOR A RUMOR; DAY 10: CARVED 'FREEDOM' IN THE SNOW... WRONG MOVE; DAY 11: PIGEON SPIES ON YOU; DAY 12: THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING—THOUGHT POLICE ARRIVE; DAY 13: ACCIDENTALLY SMILED AT A MAP OF SOUTH KOREA; DAY 14: FRIEND ASKS YOU 'HOW'S THE WEATHER?' AND YOU REPLY 'WARMER IN THE SOUTH'; DAY 15: DENOUNCED BY YOUR OWN SHADOW; DAY 16: ATTEMPT ESCAPE ACROSS FROZEN RIVER… ICE SQUEAKS TOO LOUD; DAY 17: GUARD DOGS SMELL CAPITALISM ON YOU; DAY 18: ONE STEP FROM THE BORDER AND—; ENDING: YOU DIDN'T SURVIVE; MORAL: ESCAPE SPEEDRUN ATTEMPT = 0%; YOU STUCK IN NORTH KOREA
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