please do not raid msmg, that’s a horrible idea

dude we are not gonna raird msmg
we dont have enough active users to do one ;-;

She is trying to misrepresent things to make herself look like a victim, she has literally doctored a screenshot to get a user here banned before, and her girlfriend which she went along with was found to be completely lying about someone they know irl killing themselves (they didn't).

zamn
i could not care less about what goes on in msmg
anyone is welcome here, but dont bring your drama over.

even if, the backlash would cause the purge 2.0(? 3.0?)

darn
i just believe most of what you say lol
you are quite smart

i kinda suck at lying though. simple fact checking wins against me. i also spit balls sometimes when saying things.

i was so shit at lying in the past that now everyone underestimates my ability to lie so i can hide big secrets way better because i cant lie with the little stuff

confidence is key. also a decent memory.

i have shit memory but i started a journal to remember things

plus small lies can be useful. dont ask how i know lie dynamics.

small lies are very useful indeed

i really suck at lying. i find it much easier to just tell the truth.

fair
but sometimes the truth hurts more people in the long run

exactly
we'd probs lose a bunch more users
the stream would completely die
(also yeah 2.0)

wasnt sure if there was some before. but yeah, i know that you are strong willed,so i would expect to see you after everything collapsed.

hell yeah i would stay
i have made promises i intend to keep
i'd see you down here with me tho lol

i come here because i got nothing better to do. sounds sad,it is,thats why i stay for everyine else.

i too have nothing better
i feel no urge to sleep until like 11:30 and i go to bed at 9:30-10:00 so i have an hour or two to spare

my music stoppes at 1030. so i try and start then.

oh
i dont have any music
like at all

the wifi gets cut out so i just sit in silence. my ereader gets cut out at 10.

how does your ereader cut out?

your wrong! *i* hurt people more than the truth.
but yeah, lying can hurt less. tbh i lie easiest to myself.

i lie easiest to others

lie that im ok, lie that i dont need help, lie that hearing others out helps, lie that im not ok, lie that my mental space isnt in a complex position. at that point what becomes of ones idenity? i hide myself behind music and layers of distractions just to not feel something, all that while i crave to feel things. its kinda like how in space its really cold, but your boiling at the same time.

a) drumshow/carradio ref
b) what you can drag out of me when im listening to twenty one pilots...
c) centermass my beloved

i feel as if this may be one of those times when you have to bite the bullet and face the truth. i may not be able to help you, but you have to help yourself

i know. lying is working,for now,i think.

not for long…

why are you saying that like you have something to do with it?

no i mean lying wont work for long
it all crumbles eventually

i dont know... i mean,ive sort of told my freind through ss14 bc owai is tired of losing freinds and a chain of events happened that lead me to telling that.
but like, i identify these issues,what else is needed?

maybe trying to fix them if you can?

cookie, let me tel you a story. A story about a 14 year old, bisexual and genderfluid person. They lied to themself every day. "Im fine", "Its just a bad day". But it wasnt. They were isolated. Felt alone, and not in the good way. They buried their problems under humour, pretending it was all okay. Think of it like a volcano. Small eruptions here and there, Venting to others every so often. But it kept building up, that internal pressure. It was killing them, and they wanted to kill themself. And so, the volcano erupted. They grabbed the largest knife in the house and prepared to shove it through themself, ready to end their hatred for themself. Their brother stopped them, saving their life. They then had to face their issues. That person was me.
I nearly killed myself after lying for too long, cookie.
Dont be like me. Its a slippery slope. Dont lie to yourself.

dang. and this is why i lie to myself. bc i, under all the lies,am not that bad(?).
yes, mold grows in damp,dark places, as if covered up. and wounds get infected if they stay under the plaster. but how can i be sure when im not still bleeding and instead rotting? im in a perdicament.
there are several things ive done to get better though.
ive foriven my ex a myriad of times.
ive stopped thinking about lables such as sexuality and gender.
i took after guns for hands and found somewhere to advert my frutration.
i have freinds,i have a loving family, random people online care about me,im in a (several) loving fandom.
but deep down i kow something is off. but to fix it would need be like fixing hydroelectics in a dam(?) you need to open the floodgates. and im not sure if i wantto do that.
but this mental breakdown would be the perfect time to do so.
but im fine (but im lying im so very far from fine(fall away ref))

My message from this:
Open the floodgates. Do it to someone who can help you or just to yourself. Admit your problems so you can find the solution.

no, not right now at least. gosh i hate how emotions are ilogical.
might be apathy or it really isnt a big deal. i feel like his would be a whole lot harder if i couldent self assess myself for bias.

emotions are illogical. they are messy. and even though i may not exprress them, they are beautiful. But if you don't want to express them to me, or at least not right now, thats fine. You do you, my friend.

plus,another problem is that i only really know of my lying. i dont know what else is wrong. is thi imposter syndrom? am i just trying to fit in? but by feeling like im not fitting in i am fitting in? is this a catch 22?

i dont know
i feel that way too sometimes

but i dont know whats wrong is what i realise...

then that is what you have to find out.

bad idea how?

you lose all the good stuff

they dont know that. plus, i dont really care. neverused it anyways.

plus it means that my brother cant play random music on my speaker.

oh okay makes sense
i know what its like having a brother who does that

him talking to his speaker quiets mine. thats the main reason for "the devorce"

The divorce sounds like a name for a horror movie

its actually a scifi romance movie.

wait it exists? nice

that was a lie.

most dont know...but im fine with that.

as long as you are comfortable.

supose so... i mean, i can tell your done with this and trying to help me. im also sort of being stuborn. sorry.

nah, its okay dude. I know that if you need help, you will find someone to help. none of this is your fault.

i would seek a therapist or counseler. i just dont think its that bad. anyways. im done opening up now. i have memorised 'downstairs' by twenty one pilots,thus becoming numb yet again.

duude
you cant be numb forever

i know. but it just happens.
also my dad brought up a point. "the oldest child tends to have more identity crisies bc of the image thet filled ad they dont know if things in their head are them talking on the responciblities" in an unrelated topic.

hmm
well as long as you have it under control

also wifi.

ohh
i get it
why does your wifi cut out

parental settings.

man no matter how much i complain abt my parents, i am always grateful for their lack of knowledge about technology (they dont know how to turn on parental settings)

nah,i have acsess to the houses wifi too,and i can turn off parental controlls anytime i want.(except for my computer)

oh
ok

sounds like i will be losing acsess to wifi because we are trying to fix other problems and it kust so happens that i will be losing the wifi in "the devorce" (we are splitting up the google home (maybe) in hopes of fixing problems)

what???

when my brother talks to google it makes my speaker quieter. to fix this we are digitaly splitting the house. i will likelyy lose acsess to the cameras, the wifi, and everything but my speaker and fan(plug).

that is a very bad idea