Even if I still won (as in me being still in the very place I founded with friends I’ve trust with and they like me in return), I still lost (me not being back to the TRUE place, and had revelation that barely anyone there liked me, and that they’d rejoice because I’m gone). It still hurts to lose friends, you know. Even if I had been able to still be here, I still lost more things than had won anything. Even if I still win, I lose.