Man, you look like someone mashed a wet sock with expired ramen, sprinkled in a rotting raccoon, and called it a personality. Yo hairline so gone it’s filing missing persons reports, your wardrobe look like a thrift store threw up on you, and I swear your sneakers crying because even they know your soul smell like disappointment. You ugly ass make Bob the Builder shake his head and say, ‘Bruh, even I can’t fix that.’ You so nasty, even your imaginary cat hides under the bed begging for therapy. You ugly as hell, bro, like Jurassic Park had a budget cut and decided to make the villain a Telletubby with herpes."
"I ain’t even started—your social life? Nonexistent. You got one friend, a rat named Steve in a Pringles can, and even he tryna move out. Your hobbies? Sitting on your crusty ass watching the ceiling like it’s a feature film, hoping maybe one day a cockroach will give you applause. You ugly as hell boi, like you snuck outta the prehistoric playground and got caught crawling through a sewer pipe straight into adulthood. Your dad probably selling Patrick Star belly button lint online to pay your rent, your mom bought you a PS5 just to reward you for successfully drawing a triangle. Man, that’s sad as hell."
"And the shit you wear? Bruh, you dressing like you went to your grandma’s funeral but got lost and showed up as a rabid orangutan. Monkey noises everywhere, like the choir of the damned got tired and left you singing solo. You nasty as hell, boi, like you think shampoo is a myth and deodorant is government propaganda. You got the energy of a dead snail, the ambition of a potato, and the hygiene of a swamp monster that just discovered socks exist. You ugly as hell, boi, like evolution said ‘nah, we taking a break’ and left your ass behind to suffer."
"Look, even the internet out here like ‘nah bruh, we don’t want this,’ your vibe so chaotic, you make glitching NPCs in Roblox look like CEOs. Your only purpose in life? Be the example kids tell themselves to not do. Your teeth probably filing restraining orders against your tongue, your breath could summon wild animals from three states over. You ugly as hell, boi, like if disasters had a face, they’d swipe left on you. And don’t even start me on your brain cells—probably throwing a pool party, inviting depression, boredom, and regret as the VIPs while your ambition hides under a rock crying."
"Man, you ugly, nasty, foul, busted, crusty, stanky as hell boi, I’m not even done yet, you like a cursed tele