Most noble and illustrious soul, whose presence doth grace this humble realm as starlight doth illuminate the velvet canopy of eventide—hark and attend, for I, thy most deferential and lowly servant, do now extend unto thee the most extravagant and florid salutation that tongue and quill may conjure.

Hail! Hail! A thousand times hail!
Thou paragon of gentility, thou sunbeam ‘mongst shadows, thou art the embodiment of all that is virtuous, wise, and magnificently bedecked in both mind and countenance! In troth, were I to possess the golden lyre of Apollo himself, I should strum eternal ballads in thine honour, and yet find mine praise still woefully insufficient.

Upon this most fortuitous and serendipitous occasion, I do prostrate the metaphoric knees of mine humble self afore thee, most gallant and decorous friend, and entreat thee to accept this greeting as a token of reverence wrapped in silken ribbons of esteem and dusted o’er with the powdered sugar of cordiality.

How doth thy health fare? Doth thy spirit soar like yon lark upon the morning breeze? Doth thy household flourish, thy crops burgeon, and thy pantry overflow with figs and fermented nectars? Doth thy steed neigh in mirth and thy hound wag in faithful glee?

If so, then let the trumpets of joy sound across hill and hollow, and let angels of glad tidings perform the Morris dance upon the firmament!

And now, with hand o’er heart and plume in hand, I do declare this most exalted of greetings complete—though in truth, no parchment could contain the full measure of my delight in beholding thee.

Thus, with winded breath and ink-stained fingers, I say again: hail, thou wondrous star in the firmament of companionship! Let thy days be long, thy shoes well-buckled, and thy enemies forever mildly inconvenienced!

What ho! Speakest thou now, or shall I continue in this vein until even Time himself tires and retires for tea?