thats funny because i am the opposite irl. i dont talk a lot. and i often joke in dark contexts.
i am very introverted. if it want for people coming up to me i would have no freinds.
but,to be fair i do talk a lot when i get hoocked into a conversation.
enough about me.
i think you are a nice person. but i cant help but feel like you feel that you struggle to fit in. you fit, not perfectly, but nobody here does.