Bro forgot to change his email.

Link

They texted it to me pretending to be my states department of transportation. I can’t exactly send it to you, but its absolutely insulting you think I’m gonna fall for that when you sent it on an email named [email protected] to my phone as a text message LMFAO.

Let me break it down for you, Mark. Your mother and I have a relationship that's all about a master/slave dynamic. When I said she was more like a pet to me, I meant that in the most literal way possible. Remember that time you found a dog collar under the couch and I told you it's because we were getting a dog? That was a lie, son. Truthfully, your mom likes it when I put her on a leash and walk her around the backyard. She's usually naked, of course. I can't explain why, but the whole thing is her idea. She'll piss on trees, sleep in dog cages, chew up furniture -- she once took a full-sized, adult woman ♥♥♥♥ in my dockers. Your mother is one ♥♥♥♥♥♥-up s**t, Mark. And I love her, but im not bringing that energy back to Viltrum with me. Frankly? She scares me somtimes. I don't know who molested her or how they did it, but there is some dark juju in that womans head and I just dont know I'm strong enough to ♥♥♥♥ it all away.

WTF IS THIS LMFAO

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers you’d find on Xbox lobby’s. I’ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. I’ve tried to tell him that’s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesn’t listen to me and insists he isn’t racist and that he’s just saying it because he’s angry. I’ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldn’t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.

My mom caught me masturbating for the first time. I was in second grade. I was sitting on my bed, curiously touching my p**is. My mom walked in the room and saw. She sat down next to me on my bed where i was fapping. with my p**is still out, she started to have some sort of parental conversation with me. She was confusing me, with such weird talk about "condoms" or whatever she called it. i've only seen those kinda things on television. she then told me "sh, everythings going to be all right". i was pretty nervous. She started to slowly stroke my dick, as i moaned quietly under my breath "mom..." As she increased her speed slightly, my dick started to twitch. I accidentally peed on mom. "why is my pee white" "this is called cum, sweethart. its what happens when you see a pretty lady, and she touches you here." Mom lays me on my back "Hush dear, its going to be alright" She takes her pants off. She then removes her panties. "This is a va**na. It's what you put your peepee into." Before i knew it, i was f**king mom. "Oh my god, mom, this feels so amazing!" "Oh yeah, right there, cum in my pussy OHH" her hips started to furiously sway against my dick "Ohhh mom, im cuming!" "OHHHH" Dad walks in. "WHAT THE F**K IS GOING ON HERE!" "Kenny! Its not what it looks like!" "THE F**K DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE? LET ME SUCK HIS DICK" Dad furiously pushes mom off my dick, places my dick in his mouth, and starts sucking. Oh shit, yeah you like dat shit, s**t?" "Oh my gosh! Daddy!" He then inserts his 2 fingers into my butthole. I blush "MMMMMM OH MY GOSH" I cum in his mouth. "You did good, champ!" "Thanks, dad!" The end.

LMAFO