I mean slurs and words have meaning and meaning is something people care an awful lot about. It’s kinda like relationships. They have meaning. You’re expected not to violate a relationship by cheating because you’re not physically hurting someone but you’re making them feel bad (although stress can actually physically hurt you too)
Basically, feelings f**king matter. Your stance on slurs or pronouns or words or all that shit doesn’t matter when it comes to whether or not you’re hurting a person.