I really could use my nails

There are solutions to all of those!
For the tape, make a notch by folding the end in about a centimeter or so.
For the sauce cups, in most places they have rounded corners while the covers don't.
For the soda can, try sliding a knife under the tab.
There's a reason every Lego set these days comes with a brick separator!

and when i get long nails, i can accidentally scratch surfaces that would feel absolutely repulsive to scratch, like paper that i use to write on so much! (also they can get annoying)

Hmm yes we need nails

My mother always said long nails are not healthy nails