Wee zer

ability to fly

There's a 5% chance of you just being flung into orbit (you will survive with little injuries)

OMG??

Nah that ain't even that bad

you can backfire like a car

LMFAOKAOOA

sorry

Shapeshifting

You can only shape shift into those stupid animals with no braincells

NOOOOOO

But you know everything about them and have control
And I assume you also including non fictional things

You can only shapeshift once every year

💔

you have an advisor telling you if it’s good or not to shapeshift into that

💔

btw hes biased against useful animals

instantly good at everything

Only things you know about

okay fair

except for the things you want to be good at in the moment

omg i hate it when that happens

“i wish to be the best at flying”
“yeah no thanks but you can make a REALLY good waffle”
“aw man” *homer simpson sob* “so delicious…”

or being good at opening the fridge

real

making anybody i want fall in love with me

You die

see like i don’t get this, is it every time or do i just cease to exist

the person always is the same gender as you

that’s not “anybody i want” sorry juggernaut

anybody you want, but their parents dont like you

ngl my crush’s parents probably don’t know i exist but they probably wouldn’t like me

this is actually so good though 😭 the pain

You have to pay $1 every time

THANK YOY

THATS SO CHEAP

I can time travel

The grandfather paradox:

But really, you have to shit to time travel

Well then it ain't that bad