no bro you won't trust me. I used to be in your situation as well, I thought that I was worthless and nobody would want me. Until that day, December 31st, 2022. My parents found out what I was saying to myself, with a bit of tough love, i realized that we are the lucky ones. We get to live, we get to die, we get to have all these things. We're human, and it is one of the best gifts that we were given. Please, just treat yourself, go out for a walk, listen to calming music, sleep. Anything that makes you happy or productive in any way. If you need help, memechat me.