Meh

So I’m gonna start this from where I left off last time.

Me and my gf’s relationship is getting better, but a little bit ago. Something rlly bad happened between us but I don’t wanna talk about that. We were able to move on from that and now are relationship is stronger. I’m not having as many panic attacks but I’m still have way to many. I still can’t sleep at all because of all of the thoughts going through my head, and I’ve been getting the vibe recently that a ton of people hate me. I just found out like 10 minutes ago that someone who I thought was friends with me actually hates me. I found out a week ago that my grandpa has cancer, so I’m terrified of something bad happening to him. Another thing is i feel like I’ve been struggling with my faith recently (I’m a Christan) and idk what to do. I still feel like a bad person and idk what to do about that. And there’s still a lot of shit going on but I’m not getting into all that. Ig im doing a bit better but not by much. I’ve been talking to my therapist some more and things are slowly getting better. I hope it wasn’t a mistake to come back to this site but idk yet.

About the feeling like a bad guy part: I sometimes feel like that as well, but then I remember some good things I've done. It doesn't have to be something huge, helping a blind person with orientation or giving up your seat in the subway for an old person already does the job. And if you're feeling like you're doing bad stuff and people are hating you, think something like "alright, I might have done some bad things, but this situation proves that I'm a good person, and the person I helped was and is thankful."

Ok ty for the help I’ll try it

Yw

I thought i would share this info sooner or later

I think i have some info about how to get through a panic attack

So if you are having a panic attack, try to slow your breathing and calm your mind. Try playing games with yourself, for example, count the number of chairs or tables in the room. Try to think happy thoughts, or just things that make you happy in general.

I have no experience with an actual panic attack, I got this from a book laying around my house. I hoped this helped.

Also, about that not being able to sleep part, how i usually solve that is just emptying my mind. Erase all of your thoughts and you should be fine.

I felt like a bad guy yesterday when one of my buddys moved their desks from me and i felt like a bad friend (i was not in the room at the time so idk why they actually moved). Talk about it to someone you love or someone you feel comfortable talking to, like your therapist for example.

My grandma was going through a tough time after she turned 90, not cancer but what was actually happening is personal. Everyone was so worried and then one day...

I hope some of this info helps

I tried a of these things and some of them helped. For example, a couple days ago I had to give a speech in front of some people for a school project. And for a whole hour I was panicking about it. But then I remembered the thing u said about playing games with yourself. So I counted the number of basketballs in the gym I was in, the amount of names I saw on the walls, and a lot more and it kinda helped so thank u so much

At the beginning I meant to say a few of these things

thats the thing, my brain refuses to be turned off and it comes up with scenarios like "what if all us counties became independent but cherry county, nebraska ceases to exist and modoc county, california bombs clay county, north carolina?" or "what if earth was duplicated 5 times and jupiter becomes sentient and goes crazy and deletes hd 100546 b"

when i try to sleep, my brain comes up with the randomest scenarios ever and wont turn off until like 10:30 of 11:00 and then i have to wake up at 5:30 for school. i dont know what to say about the panic attacks because i dont have them but if the panic attacks are related to a certain thing then try not to think about it or think about it less. i know how it feels to lose a relative like that. my sister parents are still both alive but only my mom's mom is alive(my mom's mom and my dads parents died) but if he does die you get over it eventually but i hope he can make it. im atheiest so i dont have a religion. anyways i hope you life gets better from here.

Thanks for helping. My brain does the same thing before I sleep. So far the latest I stayed up from it was until 2:30 am and I go to sleep at around 10:00 pm

Thanks for the update, best of luck, I’ll even pray for you.

Ty that means a lot