Bill Cipher VS Lobo (Disney's Gravity Falls VS Detective Comics's Omega Men) is now written! GO TO COMMENTS NOW

Opening

*The scene opens with Metropolis in Weirdmageddon. The sky is a nightmarish kaleidoscope of horror. The screen zooms into the Fearamid, showing Bill Cipher laughing on a throne of petrified people*

Bill: Finally! I will rule the MULTIVERSE! AHAHAHAHA!

*Suddenly, the door to the Fearamid bursts open with a loud explosion*

Bill: What?! I just fixed that door!

*A figure walks out of the dust, chuckling*

???: Bill Cipher. I finally found ya, bastich!
Bill: Who are you? Some sorta bounty hunter?!
???: Yeah. Name's Lobo.
Bill: So you want me taken in alive?
Lobo: Nah.

*Lobo throws a grenade at Bill, who uses telekinesis to throw it away with his mind*

Bill: If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you've GOT!

FIGHT!

*Lobo pulls out dual Tommy guns and starts shooting at Bill, but Bill just stops the bullets in midair*

Bill: Oh, please!
Lobo: Fraggin' WHAT?!

*Bill then snaps his fingers, making the bullets go directly at Lobo, who gets hit with all of them*

Bill: HA! That was easy as-
Lobo: Can it!
Bill: WHAT?!

*Lobo regenerates from the wounds with ease, then throws a GIANT knife at Bill, hitting his eye*

Bill: AH! MY EYE! GETITOUTGETITOUTGETITOUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Lobo: Take that, ya geometrical freak!

*Bill pulls out the knife and disintegrates it, then starts shooting eye-lasers at Lobo*

Lobo: Frag.

*Lobo starts dodging the lasers while retaliating by shooting several different guns at him, the latter doing minimal damage to Bill*

Bill: Pain is hilarious!
Lobo: Finally, something we can agree on!

*One laser hits Lobo, but he shrugs it off and starts walking through the damn lasers like a chad*

Bill: Oh no, he's hot!
Lobo: Fraggin' right, I am! Lemme outta this stupid script-video-thing!

*The camera zooms out, showing Lobo and Bill in a comic panel*

Lobo: Time to get fraggin' fragged, Billy!
Bill: Bring it on, Pink Eye!

*Lobo breaks the comic panel and starts running, with Bill floating behind him*

Bill: What is this, Tag?
Lobo: It ain't tag! It's FRAG!

*Lobo starts throwing frag grenades behind him while laughing like a madman*

Bill: OH-

*Bill starts dodging the explosions while chasing down Lobo*

Lobo: Eat this!

*Lobo starts tickling Bill's eye, making him laugh uncontrollably*

Bill: AAAAAAHAHAHAHA! STOP-STOP STOP STOP! STOP!!! PLEASE!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF THE AXOLOTL STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Lobo then starts rapidly punching Bill*

Bill: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! PAIN ISN'T HILARIOUS!

Part two because typing limit 🥲

*Bill then invades Lobo's mind*

Bill: Let's see what I can DESTROY IN HERE, HUH?!

*But Bill just sees a door*

Bill: Hm. Strange.

*Bill then opens the door, only to find a gun pointed to his eye*

Lobo: Nice try, triangle-bastich, but nobody destroys my mind.
Bill: But you don't have a memory gun!
Lobo: Think again. I don't need a damn-

*Bill vaporizes Lobo, then exits his mind and vaporizes him again*

Bill: HA! Finally! I win!

*Unfortunately for Bill, Lobo's ghost is still floating around*

Ghost-Bo: Frag off! I'm comin' in!

*Ghost Lobo then enters Bill's body, ejecting his soul from it*

Ghost Bill: What the-?
Lo-Bill: Haha! Frag-tastic! I'm a Dorito!
Ghost Bill: Gimme my body back!

*Lobo (in Bill's body) then transforms Bill's body into his own*

Lobo: Nah.
Ghost Bill: You-you bastard!

*Ghost Bill then enters Lobo's body, ejecting his soul*

Ghost-Bo: GOD DAMMIT!

*The two then take turns trying to get their vessel*

Lobo: THIS FORM IS MINE!
Bill: NO, IT'S MINE!

*Bill then gets angry and grants them both their vessels back out of spite*

Lobo: Finally! Ha-

*Bill then starts ruthlessly shooting lasers at Lobo*

Lobo: HEY! CHILLAX!

*Lobo then retaliates with everything he's got: Frag grenades, exploding cigars, dynamite, several throwing knives, a giant knife, his hook and chain, and several guns, but they do near nothing to Bill*

Bill: YOU'RE DEAD, YOU KISS FANBOY!

*Bill turns to the camera*

Bill: FYI, KISS is a band. This guy looks like a member of them, not gonna lie.

*Bill turns back to Lobo*

Bill: DIE!
Lobo: The Main Man doesn't die, bastich! Time to get fragged!

*Lobo dives into a nearby dumpster and makes a fսcking atomic bomb*

Lobo: EAT THIS!

*Lobo then slams the atomic bomb into the ground, exploding everything. After a while, the dust settles, revealing that Bill is still floating*

Bill: Look, we both can't die! How about a deal?
Lobo: What?
Bill: I'll give you unlimited power for free!

*Lobo thinks about this for a moment*

Lobo: I ain't that stupid. That's too fraggin' good to be fraggin' true.

*Lobo then whistles, calling his SpazzFrag 666 SpaceHog intergalactic motorcycle to him*

Lobo: Frag ya later.

*Lobo then rides away, leaving Bill floating*

Summary: Lobo is literally banned from dying. How can you kill what can't even be killed? But Bill was untouchable, and Lobo, despite his strength, doesn't have the materials to kill him.
Final Verdict: Stalemate. Nobody wins.

Alternate Ending

*As Lobo rides away, Bill snaps his fingers, freezing him*

Bill: You really think I'd let you off the hook, huh? I always have an ace up my sleeve. ALWAYS.

*Bill snaps his fingers, erasing Lobo from existence*

Summary: Lobo ain't immune to existence erasure last time I checked. And I'm not sure if EE counts as "dying". Therefore, Bill could beat Lobo.
Final Verdict: Bill Cipher wins.