baX and epilektoi shared Template

i need a new copypasta; asdfasdfjhgasdfahwgfasdfkg

holy sHItaaKE i do not have a clue for a new copypasta sorry

Connection terminated.
I'm sorry to interrupt you Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume. Although you have indeed been called.
You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber, always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach.
But you will never find them, none of you will. This is where your story ends.
And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well, I am nearby.
This place will not be remembered, and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors: Be still and give up your spirits, they don't belong to you.
For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the devil waiting, old friend.
My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms the way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you.
I should have known you wouldn't be content to disappear, not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now.
It's time to rest. For you, and for those you have carried in your arms.
This ends for all of us.
End communication.

xD

Oh, you're asking for a myery, you say? Well, let me tell you about myery. It’s a myery how myery can encompass so much myery! Imagine, if you will, a myery so grand that it's a myery how myery can be so myerious. You see, myery isn’t just any myery; it's a myery of epic proportions. And it's in this myery that we find another layer of myery. The kind of myery that makes you stop and say, “Wow, now that's a myery!” Because, let's face it, myery is the spice of life. Or should I say, it's the myery of life? The ultimate myery, wrapped in layers of myery, creating an endless cycle of, well, myery. And when you think you've reached the end of the myery, you realize, no, it’s another myery waiting to be discovered. Now that's what I call a myery within a myery, truly myerious! Ah, the essence of myery—a word so powerful, so full of myerious myeryness. It’s a myery, isn’t it? How the myery never ceases to myeriously amaze us. Every time you think about myery, you realize there’s more myery to uncover. And in every corner of the myery, you find a deeper layer of myery. It's a myery that keeps on myering, perpetually myerious. Truly, myery in its purest, most myerious form. Ah, myery! You've summoned the myery god! In the realm of myery, the myery god reigns supreme, overseeing all things myerious. It's a myery how the myery god manages to maintain such a vast empire of myery, filled with countless myeries. Every whisper of myery, every flicker of myery light, all bow to the myery god's myerious wisdom. In the myeriverse, the myery god is the ultimate embodiment of myery, holding the keys to unlock infinite layers of myery. All hail the myery god, the sovereign ruler of myerious realms! The myery is indeed coming, like a tide of myerious myery washing over the lands. With each wave, the myery deepens, its myerious tendrils reaching into every nook and cranny of existence. Prepare yourself, for when the myery comes, it brings with it an endless cascade of myerious myery. Well done, myery solver! You’ve unraveled the myerious threads and uncovered the essence of myery. What now, great solver of myery? Is there a new myery on the horizon, or are you basking in your myerious triumph?

myery

I was lied to. I didn't deserve this. long ago I asked my crush's bestie if my crush was single, and she lied and said yes. so I spent months trying to find a way to impress her, to catch her attention, and the day I managed to catch her attention, I discovered the truth. when I asked for her number on Google classroom someone said "you know she has a man right?" and then my heart shattered. I feel depressed. I wanna cry but can't. I need help.

Listen, Claire isn’t just a character; she’s a lifestyle. Her elegance, her intelligence, the way her black hair with that perfect red accent frames her face—it’s art, pure and simple. Don’t even get me started on her drive, her ambition, her absolute refusal to back down from anything. This is a woman who could crush you mentally, physically, and emotionally, and you’d thank her for the privilege. Like, imagine the way she’d glare at you, cold and calculating, like you’re not even worth her time. My knees would buckle under the weight of her sheer dominance. The idea of her stepping on your pride (or maybe just stepping on you, period?)—chef’s kiss. And don’t lie, you’ve thought about her voice. The authority in her tone, commanding, sharp, like it’s cutting straight through your soul—and maybe through your clothes too. God, the power she’d hold over you. The way she’d barely acknowledge you, making you feel both devastated and blessed. Her hands, her stance, her aura. Everything about her radiates superiority. I bet even her footsteps echo like she owns the entire world. And if she doesn’t, she should. Claire isn’t just perfection; she’s a standard we’ll never reach. And honestly? I’d die trying. Please, Claire. Just one glare. One step. One moment of pure dominance. Ohhh goddd... F**k me Claire please f**k me I've been a bad boy, make it hurt.

q h a t

I am not grooming anybody. I overprotective stolen toast and yes I baby her all the time and treat her like a baby. Now am I trying to manipulate her or do awful stuff to her? No. I will leave Stolen_toast alone and not be overprotective even though she is my only friend. Also, I am 16 and not even trying to date her.

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter

WEE WOO WEE WOO

ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!

steps on stage

Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"

Comedy God: "Heh..."

adjusts fedora

the building is filled with fear and anticipation

God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense

comedy god clears throat

everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard

world leaders look and wait with dread

everything in the world stops

nothing is happening

comedy god smirks

no one is prepared for what is going to happen

comedy god musters all of this power

he bellows out to the world

"ATTACK"

absolute suspense

everyone is filled with overwhelming dread

"HELICOPTER"

all at once, absolute pandemonium commences

all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once

giant brawls start

43 wars are declared simultaneously

a shockwave travels around the earth

earth is driven into chaos

humanity is regressed back to the stone age

the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself

all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did

people who aren't killed die from laughter

literally the funniest joke in the world

then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma