way back when i was just a little bitty boy living in box under the stairs corner of basement house half block down street from jerry's bait shop you know place well anyway then life going swell and everything peachy except course for undeniable fact that every single morning my mother would make me big ol' bowl sauerkraut breakfast aww it driving crazy said to mom hey what's up with all dear sweet she looked at like cow looks an oncoming train leaned right next it's good tied wall stuck funnel mouth force fed nothing but until twenty six years old that's swore someday get out travel magical far away where sun is always shining air smells warm root beer towels are oh so fluffy shriners lepers play their ukuleles day long anyone on will gladly shave your nickel wacka doo yeah let tell people wasn't before dream came true because very local radio station had this contest see who could correctly guess number molecules leonard nimoy's butt off by three still won grand prize first class one ticket albuquerque

i'd never been real airplane gotta ya really great sit between two large albanian women excruciatingly severe body odor kid kept throwing whole time flight attendants [ran] dr. pepper salted peanuts movie bio dome pauly shore engines burned we went into tailspin crashed hillside plane exploded giant fireball everybody died why tray table seat full upright position ah ha crawled twisted burning wreckage hands knees days dragging along leather suitcase garment bag tenor saxophone twelve pound bowling ball lucky autographed glow dark snorkel finally arrived world famous holiday inn can eat soup ashtrays if wanna ok they're clean checked room turned a/c spectravision i'm about chocolate mint pillow love much suddenly there's knock door now be say no answer not saying anything go over open as suspected some fat hermaphrodite flock seagulls haircut only nostril man hate he bursts grabs snorkel's he's tough give 'kay grabbed his leg esophagus bit ear chewed eyebrows took appendix gave colonic irrigation yes indeed better believe somehow middle phone got knocked hook seconds later heard familiar voice what ill you'd call please hang try again need help dial operator

cut story short made solemn vow there rest sleep instant nostrilled brought justice decided buy donuts car drove walked guy behind counter says whaddya want any glazed we're outta jelly bavarian cream filled cinnamon rolls apple fritters bear claws wait minute check case do dozen starving crazed weas