yappage

I went into a gas station to get some snacks at 10:00. As soon as I walked in, I was enveloped in someone's fecal scented cloud that was clearly freshly expelled from their butt. Looked around and there was nobody in the store except me and the clerk. Made eye contact with the clerk and he gave me a sheepish smile. He clearly knew that I knew that he'd been farting up a storm in his store all evening. As I'm browsing around the store, I hear an ever so soft phhhhhpppttt sound, followed by the sound of an aerosol can. Dude was clearly spraying air freshener to cover up his stank! Lol Finally find everything and approach the counter. The guy is grimacing, clearly having gas pains. He tells me my total is 2:40, but in his Indian accent it sounds like he says "who’s farting?" I had to fight the urge to say " I was going to ask you the same question my guy." I give the money. He doesn't think I notice, but I see him wince and then ever so slightly shift his butt to the side and do a half squat. Then I hear a fairly quiet hiss of gas, followed by a lout POOT! PLOP! A real raunchy stink filled the air. Peeweey did it stink! By this time, I had to practically run out of the store to keep from screaming with laughter. As I'm driving away in my car, through the window, I see the guy walking to the back of the store to the bathroom. Probably going to clean his stinky booty and change his underwear. Poor guy probably had an unruly stomach. Felt kind of bad for him! But still a lol moment! Never trust a fart my guy!

Fella shut up

🍆HAPPY SPANKSGIVING💦

‼️ITS🍗 SPANKSGIVING 🍂 BITCHES‼️On this day 🗓 many years ago 😮 the S**TTY 👠 PILGRIMS 🎩 sailed ⛵️ across the ASSlantic 🌊 HOEcean in a quest 👀to find 🔎 more 😍 COCKS 🍆 to SUCK! 👅 Together with the 😈 NAUGHTY 😈 NATIVES 👹, they gathered 👫 around the dinner table 🍽 and had 🎉 our nation’s very 1️⃣st GANG BANG! 👯‍♀️👯👯‍♂️ We honor 🙌🏻 their ORGY 😮 every year 📆 by giving THANKS 🙏🏼 to all 🥰 that’s important ❤️ to us: Family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, Friends 👬, Freedom 🇺🇸, and DICK! 🍆🌽👅 So grab your BUNS, 🍞✊👉👌squeeze those BREASTS, 🍗🔥🤲 and shove a cornaCOPIOUS 🌽🌽 amount of DICK 🍆 😩 into that hungry 😮 hungry HOLE! 🕳💓👅 Ladies 👯‍♀️, just like your 🦃 THOTSgiving 🦃 turkey, it’s time ⏰ to throw your legs 🤸🏼‍♀️in the air 🤸🏼‍♀️and prepare to get ➡️ STUFFED 🙀!

After dinner,🍴it’s time 😮 for CUMPKIN PIE!! 🥧 Show Daddy 👨🏽‍🦳 how 🙏🏼 thankful 🙏🏼 you are and LICKK 😛 his WishBONE 🦴 until he gets as HARD 🏔as PlyMOUTH rock ⛰ and shoots 💦 his HOMEADE GRAVY 🥣! 👅 Midnight 🌙 starts 😈 BLACK ⬛️ FRIDAY 🛍 so send 📤 this to 🔟 THOTS 💁🏻‍♀️you are thankful 🙏🏼 for! If you get 0️⃣ back, sail 🔙 to England 🖕🏻🤮 If you get 5️⃣ back, you’ll be getting your corn 🌽 CREAMED 😋🥰. Get 🔟 back or more, and the 🙀 BIGGEST, 🙀 GIRTHIEST, BLACK⚫️ FRIDAY 🍆 COCK 😱 is CUMMING 💦YOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT 🙀😍🙀😍🙀😍

i only have 98c 😔

i'll give you a slight discount

*squeezes a penny out my dick and into your hand*

Yeah you can have that back big guy

*sucks penny back into my dick*

elephant trunk ahh

Take it

ight cmere

Ok *walks over*

[gives you the sloppiest top ever]

Ohhhh yea~

dibs

cmere bbg

errm uhm okay