Transparent matt

Milo: what are you hiding Mathew

Matt: Don't call me that

*He says sternly as a fire is heard in his house*

Milo: what’s in there

Matt: Uh... the Aurora borealis

*He says boarding up a door*

Milo: oh really?? I wanna go in!

Matt: Haha no you can't. it will hurt your eyes.

Milo: I got good eyes

Matt: And you'll get bad eyes if you go in there.

Milo: Nuh uh!

Matt: yuh huh.

Milo: just let me in >:(

Matt: No. I will not let you.

Milo: whyyyyy

Matt: Because I don't want you in my house, man.

Milo: fine..

Matt: good. now go home and-

*The house bursts into flames*

Matt: ...oh right.

Milo: …
That’s what the Aurora Boris looks like?

Matt: ...okay my house is on fire because of an evil f**king wizard

Milo: a wizard?

Matt: no no you didn't hear me right. An Evil

F**king

Wizard

Milo: that’s a bad word tho

Matt: yeah I know but that's his full legal name. I have to say that whenever I mention them

Milo: why?

Matt: I don't know.

Milo: let’s go kill him!

Matt: Yeah I can't.

Milo: why

Matt: Restraining order

Milo: but if he’s dead it doesn’t apply anymore

Matt: Eh you go do it

Milo: I cant

*Gus casually walks through the wall, crumbling the part he walked through*

Matt: Eh. shit like this happens ever Wednesday. just not to this extent.

Gus: ...
eh, I have my fair share of random shit happening regularly
one time I saw a duck like me eat a door

Matt: Cool. You leaving yet?

Gus: Yeah, i'll be on my way
*a random go-kart would come drifting over to Gus as he made a hop, landing in the kart and driving off*

Matt: ...Are you f**king kidding me?

Gus: I can patch that up if you need

Matt: Just get outta my house man. it's on fire.

Gus: .......why haven't you left the house then???

Matt: I did. I'm outside.

Gus: it... doesn't even smell that smoky...

*The house bursts into flames*

Matt: *looks at gus* see?

*Gus is still standing in the house unfazed*

Matt: look man you're like the 20th person to randomly appear in my house and I don't even know who you are. Just get out.

*Gus left the house the way he entered*
Gus: y'know... you don't seem to be panicked at all that your house is burning

Amber: *to the title* been there

Evil f**king wizard: Who asked YOU?!

*they say laughing evilly because they are in fact an evil f**king wizard*

Amber: I'm an angel, bitch *angel magic*

Evil f**king wizard: OH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

*The evil f**king wizard is evil f**king dead*

Matt: Hey cool the fire's out

Amber: yay I did it

Matt: okay how am I supposed to fix my house?

*His house is burnt to crisp*

Matt: maybe I could call heather to afford some construction or...

(lmao)

Matt: *Trying to board up the door*

Amber: what’cha doin, matt?

Matt: uh... nothing...

*A huge fire can be heard inside of Matts house*

Amber: is your house on fire??

Matt: Uh... no... it's the... The Aurora borealis

Amber: huh-

Matt: Y-yeah! The Aurora Borealis. At this time of day at this time of year at this part of town localized entirely within my house!

*He doesn't seem confidant about this*

Amber: can I see it?

Matt: ...no.

Amber: aw

(Yes this entire rp was to make a steamed hams joke)

Matt: So if you'd like, you can leave-

*The house bursts into flames*

Matt: HOLY SHIT!

Amber: ill find a bucket *flies off to find a bucket of water*

Matt: *waiting and trying to fan the fire out, but only making it worse*

Amber: *comes back with a few buckets to put the fire out*

Matt: Wait it's-

*The fire expands on contact with the fire*

Matt: Magic fire... I insulted another wizard

Amber: ugghh ill make the wizard stop

Matt: Thanks Amber.

*meanwhile in some stupid f**king cave*

Evil f**king wizard: Ehehehehehehehe

Amber: hey evil wizard if you don't put matt’s house out ill summon the wrath of god upon thee or something

Evil f**king wizard: Ehehehe! I will never put out the kingsmans fire! He interrupted my evil wizard porn!

(this is so stupid)

Amber: porn is bad anyway