Howdy customer, Colten's the name!

when they take a "smoke break" they mean going outside and eating cigarettes

Yes.

This is so canon I love this

nuh uh

Whar

when he crashed the car he was baked rather than wasted

It made a comical clanging sound upon contact with his leg and did no damage

"Oops! Oh well!

- Colten (Expires in 12 hours)"

wym expires

Most of the typing quirks are based on some form of messaging

Ah
So what form is this
Burner phone??

I don't know

Ah
Well that's pretty cool

thanks :)

Of course

Yes

he's so unclean he could give you tetanus by scratching you

yes

he couldn't even afford animatronics he just made a scarecrow that he stood behind and controlled with sticks behind a curtain
the bon killings have him wearing the scarecrow's clothes in bon's stead

this isn't in the walten files universe
in the same way that The Speedrunner of All Categories doesn't exist in the mario universe

Oh right
forgot he was spamton for a second
He does not know what an FDA is

Yes

he thinks people like cops are just people who dress up in a way that makes them seem "better than you"

LMFAOOAO YES.
This will be referenced in his shop dialogue

he tried taking some police uniform from dumpster but got put in the box because he was "trying to be one of them" (impersonation of a police officer)

Yes

He reeks of grease

Yes

has an aura of punchability

Yes.

his shirt does not have a collar it was too big for him so he took the top part and curled it

i guess so

he is a firm believer in one man's trash is another man's treasure

Yes

has stepped on a bear trap before

Yes

one time he tried to put an officer in a box
he locked up the guy on the wrong side of the cell (cop on the outside, himself on the inside)

LMFAO

he slipped on a tomato slice once

Yes

the reason he has the "Walten nose" is bc he knocked it off when he was a boy (the gnarliest bike crash ever) and his mom just replaced it with a rubber one

actually it's just because he's in that art style
but that's funny

well then change rubber nose to glass eye

alr

said glass eye is at such an inconvenient placement that it looks like it's staring at you no matter which way he faces you

Has an unlimited supply of 1920s coca cola and nobody knows where he gets it all

Drunk
Scottish
Cyclops
Grenade launcher