Here lies Charlie
You can tell it's him 'cause we put his name on the stone
He kept his showers ice-cold, used eco-friendly lightbulbs
Rode his bicycle to work when the gasoline price rose
He'd judge with no pretense, fish on the weekends
Each morning, get up, do the Pledge of Allegiance
Never swim in the ocean, for fear of shark attacks
Bi-monthly get his wife a rose with a card attached
Avoiding all the little things that were hard to ask
Had a car crash, cardiac arrest, died of a heart attack
Golden escalator, all his friends and neighbors
Huddled there in prayer around the respirator
"Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs!
They all look like ants from here, stars and crystal chandeliers!"
There was an angel at the entrance, checking off a guest list
Charlie wasn't on it, and was ushered to the exit
His heart sank
He was breathless
"Excuse me, sir!
There must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I go to church on Sunday
Truly, usually more!"
Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door
"Excuse me, sir!
There must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I go to church on Sunday
Truly, usually more!"
Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door
"Abandon all hope, all ye who enter"
It was a horrifying sign, but sounded like a neat adventure
Far beyond the halos and the castles in the clouds
Fatsos squealing, shackled with some apples in their mouths
Attention w**res in padded bras hanging from extension cords
Tortured with the products from their favorite catalogs
Here, we buy and sell a million kinds of Hell
Imagination is the limit to the devil's clientele
Up a dingy elevator, no televised debate
Will save you from the Hell you paid for, sorry buddy, smell you later
Side-stepped fate, went right for the gate
But you know the devil, he loves a good chase
There was a demon at the entrance, making X's on a checklist
Who would kick you in the ass when you begged him for repentance
Those tempted by the senses with the cruelest of intentions
Charlie's heart sank, he was breathless
"Excuse me, sir!
There must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform
I really don't belong here
I know you've heard the tune before!"
Screaming at the demons while they pushed him through the door
"Excuse me, sir!
There must be someone you've confused me for
If I could see someone who
