It ain't much but it's honest work

idk how to feel

horrible.
thanks for asking

feels bad man

Anything I can do to make it a little more bearable?

Really horrible tbh

I'm sorry to hear that... anything I can do to help?

Not really. Things have just been stressing me out a lot

"ok" how about you

A bit rough but I'll make it :)

I'm dying on the inside but can't really tell anybody. how are you?

I'm in a bit of a slump but these things happen. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to memechat me :) imgflip.com/memechat?invite=fDWqd7e8pxgB3hQ8tEH1-QsHcBGG12NY

Meh

Painful and traumatic
-EmosRuleOverPeasents

What in particular? Sometimes it helps to get these things off your chest...

Since I’ve been going to a new school, I’ve been using the name Jaden I don’t know if it’s a euphoric as the other name I’d like to use, but I’d probably get believe for using that one sadly but at least it’s better than my dead name. Sadly, both my parents and possibly my brother I don’t know if my dad is though they might be trans phobic and I really hate that since my parents divorce my mom has been so much more conservative. She would be absolutely pissed if she found out that I’ve been using a different name so my grandma once I heard my grandma laughing at a video making fun of trans mask people and that was really annoying, I can hardly take it. I swear these days I’m just gonna snap and neither tell my mom teacher she’s emotionally abusive or just come out my phone will get taken away for good and I’ll be out to everyone if I tell someone they’ll think I’m being lying for attention if I act out, I’ll probably lose friends and get in trouble. I just can’t do anything about it and I don’t wanna burn people. I honestly suicidal because of it but if I tell anyone, my mom will find out and guilt me probably vape and smoke even more if that’s even physically possible up my depression meds and pressure me tell her what’s wrong. I don’t know if I can take anymore, but I can’t do anything about it. I’m genuinely scared of my mom finding out about any of this. She’s made perfectly clear that she hates all LGBTQ plus people she said it so many terrible things about queer people and it’s really s****y. Honestly I’m really scared of what she might do she find out about any of this multiple times and last time she said Me and Grandma have given you so much is repay us also homophobic trans racist, xenophobic, and sexist and many other things she thinks most foreign people are terrorist or not as good as white straight all American, whatever fat people , she hates immigrants and she thinks white conservative. Christian are discriminated unjust and she wants her type all the planet. I know I’ve heard it many times by genuinely fear. I don’t know how I can go without snapping doing something all regret. I’m really scared that I haven’t internalized racism because of her and I feel really bad about it. I don’t want to hate people. I just can’t. I feel terrible when I’m venting the light as I’m venting right now the lightbulb my room is flickering rapidly And is giving me a headache while I’m venting. My dad hit me as a little kid

Hm. There's a lot to go through here. Fair warning, I am both conservative and Christian so that will color my judgement, but I also have seen these things firsthand.

To be quite honest with you, I think most transgenderism and gender dysphoria is the result of deep trauma and preexisting mental conditions, and I think that being abused as a kid and having autism are the perfect preconditions.

The entire idea of internalizing racism is, quite frankly, BULLSHIT. You have nothing to be sorry for, you owe nothing to nobody. Just acting like a decent human being is all it takes to be not racist.

Didn't mean to post that just yet, hold on a sec.

not reading all that but hope you feel better

Okay, a LOT of your problems seem to be stemming from the fact that you are "trans". Maybe that might not be the best decision. The root of that condition is gender dysphoria, where you don't feel right in your body. A lot of people have this, heck, I did at one point, when puberty hit. But a lot (up to 80%!!!) of cases of gender dysphoria resolve over time WITHOUT irreversible "affirming" surgery and hormones that no-one has really studied the long-term consequences of. And turns out, many people who would otherwise just be plain ol' gay end up being the victims of "affirmation".

What I'd suggest is finding a real psychiatrist, not someone who will just blindly "affirm" you, but who will actually pose difficult questions and make you search deep inside yourself.

And the fact that you don't want to hate people means that you are still a good person inside.

I’ve felt trans since I was six, i don’t think I’m confused