Kevin Hart Hands up

"Lost my virginity before my dad did"

wait a minute....

"When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"

Wtnv core

all hail the glow cloud.

Oh my god I love you

neat! :)

“Kids die for FREEEEEE”

"my wife still misses me... BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER!"

"HEY HEY GET OUT OF HERE!!.. darn.. darn pretty men.. always eating my trash.. wait what?"

"Between me and him I'm not always the bad twin." "Him and I... Grammer Stanly"

Ignore all the haters telling you everything is not a sandwich. Everything is a sandwich

good to to know

“No man can eat fifty eggs”

"what would an automatic weaponized battle toaster look like"

“Life is a party, and I’m the piñata”

"i don't want to live, I'm just too afraid to die"

relatable

sometimes

:(

:(

Hug?

yes please

🫂

:3

:)))))))

:) :3 'u' ^w^

:)))))))))))))

dipper! what's the one thing i told you not to do tonight?!
raise the dead...
and what did you do?!?!
raise the dead...

YES!

Same bro, why does everyone want to stop me from raising the dead?

"so-called 'beautiful' people are government androids."

" You don't need to save the world to find meaning in life. Sometimes, you just need something simple...like someone to take care of. "

"gosh f**k d*mn it"
cyn

"If there is a God who rules this world, it is a stern, solemn, and definitely a good being. A being that is far too great. God keeps forcing us to confront these cruel fates. As those were the rules of this world! Oh, God... I'll slice you into tiny pieces and feed you to the pigs! Our battlefield is no place for that piece of shit, God! I think it's time we took over God's work. We, soldiers, will take God's place. Put the arrogant ass, God, out of a job! All right troops... It's time for war!"