Also imma use this for shorter announcements

Chaws: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Jesus: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Chaws: Okay yeah thanks Jesus, that's great but WHERE'S THE F**KING FIRST AID KIT?

Chaws: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Chaws: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

Chaws: Pros and cons of dating me.
Chaws: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Chaws: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Chaws: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

Chaws: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it.
Chaws: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

Chaws: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Chaws: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Chaws: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

Chaws: Look, do I consider myself attractive? No. But would I have sex with my clone? Yes.

Chaws: Wow, I feel happy and I’m having so much fun!
Chaws:
Chaws: *narrows eyes* Something’s wrong here.

Chaws: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Chaws: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.

Chaws: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

:3

Chaws: You know I think my life has value.
Nameless: Who are you and what have you done with Chaws?!

Can you do one with me and T?

T: Two bros!
Nameless: Chillin' in a hot tub!
T and Nameless, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS F**K!

T: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!
Nameless: Why would I do that?
T: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

T: And what do I get out of this?
Nameless: I will give you a dollar.
T: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Nameless: How bout two dollars?
T: You got yourself a deal.

Nameless: I want a bf.
T: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

<3

Chaws: *pulls back the curtain while Nameless is showering*
Chaws: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

:3

Canon to the lore us in the basement sent you up there

Canon

Nameless: What the f**k.
Nameless: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship.
Nameless: Who the hell watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

Nameless: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

ME AND SCARF 😨

Hazel: I feel like doing something stupid.
Penalty box : I’m stupid, do me.

Hazel: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box.
Scarf: That’s a trash can.

Also I'm doing some with u and the penalty box

Me. Also my frens Havannah and Rat.

Umbreonspooky_Productions: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

Umbreonspooky_Productions: What can therapy do for me that screaming in my car for 30 minutes can’t?

Why is this accurate.

Umbreonspooky_Productions: If you aren't someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago, are you really living?

Havannah , to The Squad: You should change your passwords to “incorrect”. Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “your password is incorrect”.

Havannah : Hopefully Rat has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.
Rat: Oh, shut up and die Havannah .

Rat: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

IM NOT TOO LATE AM I

Cole: Play to your strengths.
Chaws: I haven’t got any!

Cole: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

Cole: I don’t have anything against you, but I can make up lots of reasons to attack you!!

Cole: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

Cole: You use emoji’s like a straight person.
Chaws: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Chaws: Why can’t we all just get along?
Cole: Because most of us are assholes, Chaws.

Canon to my lore

Cole: That’s why we needed to get an expert.
Chaws: Oh, really? Who did you get?
Cole: *stares*
Chaws: Oh! Right, that’s me… Yes.

Nope. Lemme cook some up