Also imma use this for shorter announcements

Chaws: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them?
Jesus: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them.
Chaws: Okay yeah thanks Jesus, that's great but WHERE'S THE F**KING FIRST AID KIT?

Chaws: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Chaws: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

Chaws: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

Chaws: If God’s ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it.
Chaws: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

Chaws: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Chaws: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Chaws: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

Chaws: Look, do I consider myself attractive? No. But would I have sex with my clone? Yes.

Chaws: Wow, I feel happy and I’m having so much fun!
Chaws:
Chaws: *narrows eyes* Something’s wrong here.

Chaws: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Chaws: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.

Chaws: Pros and cons of dating me.
Chaws: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Chaws: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Chaws: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

:3

Chaws: *pulls back the curtain while Nameless is showering*
Chaws: Hey did we - stop screaming it’s me - did we run out of Cheerios?

Canon to the lore us in the basement sent you up there

:3

Canon

Chaws: You know I think my life has value.
Nameless: Who are you and what have you done with Chaws?!

Can you do one with me and T?

T: Two bros!
Nameless: Chillin' in a hot tub!
T and Nameless, in unison: Zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS F**K!

Nameless: I want a bf.
T: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend or bread feast? Because you’re being really vague here.

<3

T: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!
Nameless: Why would I do that?
T: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

T: And what do I get out of this?
Nameless: I will give you a dollar.
T: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
Nameless: How bout two dollars?
T: You got yourself a deal.

Nameless: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

Nameless: What the f**k.
Nameless: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship.
Nameless: Who the hell watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

THE FACT THIS IS SO ACCURATE WTAF, I THINK THE GENERATOR IS STALKING ME

Grey: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Chaws made me get tested.

*literally breathes air*
put me in this

Sylvia: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

let’s try this again, this time without zoophilia or romance.

Sylvia : I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Chaws: I'm trash.
Sylvia : As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?
Chaws:
Chaws: You smooth motherf**ker.
Chaws: And yes it does.

LMAO

Sylvia: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Sylvia: I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer house in Lisbon.

I wanna delete that comment so damn bad

ISN’T THAT ZOOPHILIA

Hey, you said it

I didn’t expect it to go that far 💀

Read the long Beth x Joker one

it’s literal z o o p h i l i a

Hey, your the zoophile here. It's ur quote

not if I’m dead :D

Then ur a dead zoophile

penalty box.

?

you go in the f**king penalty box for zoophila.

YOU'RE THE ZOOPHILE. UR THE ONE WHK SAID IT

I’d rather delete my account.

Then you'd be a lonely zoophile

Go***mnit, I’M NOT A F**KING ZOOPHILE!