side note: i have a horrendus fear of fire

Unrelated but that pic looks awesome

I recommend putting it in a cool area (eg a fridge) and maybe call a tech support number

me and what phone

Idk use anything that call
And trying turning it off

oh no

Unplug the charger and phone, and put it outside for a second

Put the charger and phone outside. Let it cool down for a second while it’s outside. Have a fire extinguisher ready if it ends up bursting into flames on the grass