Jollideez's announcement template

Gaming consoles and games and snacks and plushies and merch

video game shit

I'd donate a whole lot of that money to homeless and poor people.
The rest of the money would be used to help out even more and make sure they would get to safety and warmth, by buying the homeless and poor people food and homes.

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

Combine.