DAD, WHY DID MOM LEAVE US? SON, BECAUSE YOUR EARS LOOK LIKE MILITARY-GRADE SATELLITE DISHES. ALSO BECAUSE YOUR HAIRCUT IS ATROCIOUS. WHAT?! STAND STILL, LET ME GIVE YOU A BOOSIE FADE. YOU'LL GET NO HOES WITH THIS CUT. BUT I LIKE THIS HAI-; TOO BAD. YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.