Watching speed play candy crush must be like watching a speedrunner play cod zombies before they added Easter eggs

What

I know 😎 we've 👯‍♂️ all 👫 been 🚗 RIDIN' 😚 with 🍆 big 🍆 dick 🍆 Biden 🇺🇸 but 😲 he 🏃 just 👶⛔👎🙅‍♂️ PULLED OUT 😿🍆💦➡️ of ❌ the 🏁 race 🏃😔😔🫡 Who ❓ will ❓ FILL 🤪 THE VOID 🕳️ now⁉️ KAMAMA 🍈🍈 is 💃 ready 💅 to 🍑 POP 🎉 HER 🕺 PUSSY 🐱 into 👆 the 🌟 presidency 🏛️ but 😧 who ❓ will ❓ get 🎁 the 🏆 biggest 😲 LOAD 💦 of 📦 votes 🗳️ stuffed 💦 into 💦 their BALL-ot 🌰🌰 📦 BOX 📦 at the CUMvention😩😩⁉️⁉️ Can ❓ they 💃 defeat 👊 the 💪 BIGGEST 😂 PUSSY 🐱 GETTER 😜 OF 🏆 ALL 🌍 TIME🤴🤴 in HOEvember ⁉️⁉️ Send 📧 this 👇 to 📲 🔟 of 🔥 your 😈 S**TTIEST 😌💅 genocidaires 👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶💣👶🇵🇸🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂get 👍 10 🔟 back 🔄 you're 🦸 Corn 🌽 Pop 🥇 get ⬇️ 5️⃣ back 🔄 you 🥴 fell 🫃 out ⤵️ of 😝 a 🥥🌴🥥🌴C O C O N U T T R E E🌴🥥🌴🥥 get ⛔ 0️⃣ back 🔄 you're 🚫 a 😒 lying 🤥 dog 🐶 faced 😆 pony 🐴 soldier 🪖🎖️🤮

In an alternate universe where candy crush was the most popular game of all time and people were interested in its updates