She is thinking about cheese

she's thinking really hard to her head needs more blood and that's totally definitely why she's blushing

Yep

Definitely not because she embarassed because she's wearing a maid outfit

it keeps the softer cheeses from getting on her
like an apron

Yes

She doesn't want to get cheese on herself

aprons don't quite cut it and a hazmat is far too much
also it's pretty :3

She'll get used to it

she's just doing her routine inspection of the government cheese caves

Illy walks in with a gas mask and gloves

Mr: "Hey, Illy, what with the maid outfit...?"

Illy: "Cheese."

"...
..what kind of cheese needs a maid dress????"

"It helps with messes, and it looks pretty."

"..wait wait you just said "cheese"???
what place EXCLUSIVELY CARRIES CHEESE???
CAN I SEE IT--"

Yeah this one's kinda weird man

bro
it's a dress
it itself only signifies the role of a janitor
plus I haven't RPed with Milk in a good while

still kinda weird but ok

It's supposed to be at least a little
they're literally discussing cheese the government stores in caves

cheese stored in caves........ is that a reference to donkey kong country tropical freeze 2-b rodent ruckus.... . . .the level where mice are storing their cheese in a cave/.... . ..

there are actual cheese caves under Wyoming put in place by president Carter

wyoming is a reference to autumn heights. . .. ...world 2 of donkey kong country tropical freeze.... . .. ...

what's the name of that old kong??
I'm asking bc Jimmy Carter is 99 now

Cranky Kong

Yeah
Carty Kong

"It's government property."

"...
WHY DOES THE GOVERNMENT HAVE CHEESES?? CHEESES THAT REQUIRE SPECIAL CARE????"

"...Listen, I thought milk would be a good investment....so I made Jimmy Carter buy a bunch..."

"Did you not put it in a fridge???"

"Dude. It was, like, over a billion pounds worth."

"you mean to tell me you put one of the most perishable, fragile, EXPENSIVE items
IN A PLACE WITH NO COOLING??
Caves are cool, but not THAT cold!''

"Nah. They're cold. Like, 32 degrees farenheit."

"...
.. don't they allow tourists in there??"
*they allow tourists in A cheese cave, not ALL cheese caves*

"Only one. The others got, like, a BUNCH of armed guards, keycard doors. It's awesome that I get to just stroll past em."

"...
That's such a WASTE though!''

"No it's not. I control the cheese market. At any point, I could release the cheese gates, and drive the price of cheese to the floor."

"...
...
..what would you gain from that though??"

"Make cheese expensive. We get money."

*literally shaking her by the shoulders*
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AWFUL OF AN IDEA THAT IS?!
CHEESE IS A A STAPLE FOR SO MANY PEOPLE!!
THINK ABOUT EVERYONE WHO WILL NEVER TASTE CHEESE AGAIN!!!
HOW WILL LAUREN MAKE GRILLES CHEESE IF THEY'RE $55 A SLICE???"

"Fine. If it so helps you, I'll make cheese less expensive soon."

(Just realized that Illy and Mr are going to outlive basically everyone)

"YES"
*I don't think Mr would wanna do that*

"...Meanie."
(Illy gonna be all alone in the future)

"I'm not a meanie >:("
*I mean out of all of his friends right now only three are oddities and one of them is a Funnyguy*

"You grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me like a bobblehead ;("

"YOU WERE GONNA DEPRIVE EVERYONE OF CHEESE!! HOW WILL I EVER EAT ANOTHER GRILLED CHEESE??? WE BOTH SUCK AT COOKING!!"

"I mean, I kinda know how to cook."

"it's OKAY."

"Wow, are you calling my cooking only okay? I could slap you with my tail right now." She was obviously joking.

"Yeah?? Is it hard to hear with those flat triangle facets?? actually wait don't do that I'll die"

"Hey, I'm the soon-to-become goddess of deception and control, not cooking."

"do
not
mess
with
my
head
understood?"

"It's fine. The last time I did was, like, months ago."

"you know I only pretended to believe that dog was actually flying right
might wanna work on your trickery if you wanna be the representation of it someday."

"...Yeah, but did you pretend to eat that entire can of cold beans while you were hypnotized?"

"YOU MADE ME CONSTIPATED FOR A WEEK"
*he grabbed and spun her head*

"I swear to God I will rip that bag off your head."

"oh like you didn't deserve that
I thought that week was IT for me"

*puts finger on bag to shush*
"Ssssshhhh..."

"I get that you might not THINK that's such a big deal to me just because I come back
but FIVE YEARS IS A LONG TIME FOR ME."

"That's nice, but when I utterly eviscerated, I have to wait almost a full day to heal. And I feel EVERYTHING."

"I know
but you're incredibly tough and you go through things like that ALL THE TIME.
I'm not
and I don't
I'm not as strong as you
that's why I'm so mad"

"Dude. You'd beat the hell out of me in a fist-fight."

"well yeah but like
your body can handle more than mine can"

"It can't, it's just that I've been so used to the pain.C

"Well, I've never seen my own entrails."

"Well, you'll experience a lot throughout your life, kid."

"uhhh
that kinda stuff doesn't normally happen to people
whatever
just please
Illy
don't ever do that again."

"Fiiiiine. Plus, if you did die, I'd try and ressurect you, and I've been practicing, so next time, I won't accidentally suck out a piece of their soul again."

"Piece of their so--?
...wait a second
Illy
you know any spider people??"

"Will? Yeah. Listen, long story, involves a lot of drugs, a cartel, and a meat grinder, but hey, Will's alive.$

"...
i always thought he was making that up
dang
whatever"

"Yeah, anyways. You can trust me."

"..Then why couldn't I trust you to not mess with me?"

"....It was funny..."

*voice breaking*
"..you made me take my off in the most populated area in Acre. I didn't find that funny at all."

"Okay, I promise never to mess with you again, pinky promise.'

"you said that last time."

"What will make you trust me, then?"

"..I don't know...
..it hurts, what you did...
..I... I'll try...
..I'll try to forgive you."

"If I do it again, you have my permission to tie my tail in a knot and spin my head around until I vomit."

"..alright."

She smiled.

*he weakly smiled*

She sighed, and gave him a light hug to calm him.

"thanks."

"You're welcome, dude."

"...I'm glad we can be friends, not enemies."

"Me too."

"..I have a feeling you might become one of my best friends."

"Awwww." She smiled. "You know, I feel like I get along with you more than others. Probably because we can both live forever."

"...
..I don't think I'd like to live forever."

"Well, I don't got a choice. I hope you stay alive for a long time...so, y'know, I can have some company that'll last a long time."

".....at least there'll be somebody.."

"Yeah, but then they'll die eventually."

"..."

"...I try not to get attached..cause they're gonna die, and my heart's gonna be broken."

*Mr groans, because now he's thinking these things too*

"So...I kinda just...distance myself from them...so I don't get sad. That's why I don't talk to Lian or Will or all that much."

"...
I'm not staying forever either..."

"I know...but at least you're staying for longer...might as well enjoy it as it lasts."

"..I'm gonna miss ya, y'know..''

She sighed. "Yeah...I know..." She sighed. "Hey, I mean.....there's always necromancy..." She chuckled a little, before immediately regretting the joke.

*Mr looks at her with a facial expression comparable to Pillar John*

"....I'm sorry..." She sniffled a little.

"..hey, hey, I'm not mad!
I'm sorry!"

Do you find this fun or something

yeah
kinda helps me feel better

I feel like something happier would be infinitely more effective at that

I dunno
Focusing on someone else helps me not think about my troubles and helps me cool off

see that's the part i DO get. what i DON'T get is why your rp has to be about how your time on this earth is limited. this is one of the best days of my life and you two are kinda messing it up

You shouldn't look at their RP, then.

I'm sorry for dropping in, yadda yadda, but I had to say it.

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rude, but I'm being honest.

Did you hear me

I'm sorry my battery was low I had to turn off my phone
also i don't know
It's hard to explain why some things are fun
I know today's a big day for you
I'm not trying to make you feel bad
but again, this wasn't something you had to see

"My battery was low" You did like a whole other thread without replying to me at all

I made like a few more comments before I did

This day is f**king falling apart
My parents are arguing
My mom's Amazon order was messed up
You're doing yet another thing I told you to please stop doing
You made me feel like garbage earlier
I was notified my week-late birthday plans may be postponed or canceled
The mobile data here sucks and I can barely use this site until we get wifi tomorrow
And I got the f**king wrong size mattress
Please just humor me this once and STOP
RP with him about something else
ANYTHING else
I don't care what
Just nothing depressing
Please

I just want to know, why are you so invested in this rp? You're not taking part in it, you don't have to look at it at all, so why are you telling us to change it?

I have an impulsive habit to look at his comments every once in a while and all I see is "I'm gonna die one day, that kinda sucks"

I know this day isn't going well for you, and I hope that it gets better and everything goes well

I'm sorry if this seems rude, but you don't have to look, if you get the impulse to look, tell yourself that you're not going to look

It's not that easy

I know, but there have been times for me that I've had impulses, but I just thought about it and focused on not doing it

I don't mean to sound rude but I'm already stressed enough I do NOT have the time or patience to put myself through a whole ass self improvement course today

You could always distract yourself from it, that's a temporary solution

You could draw, or do something you like, if you can

That's what I usually do but this time I literally have nothing to distract myself with
We just moved today and the house is practically empty

I have ideas but they're all weird and you would probably call me weird for offering the idea

Matsurbagion 👎

NOT MASTURBATING

more like beatboxing, making songs by slapping random objects, and having my hands fight each other like stickmen

bro's on that "7 year old on a road trip" grindset
(I mean that in a positive way)

I'm at an airport and I was bored a little bit ago and deadass beatboxed Jingle Bells

LMAO

I am autism 😔

"No Skylar, I AM the autism"

"I am the one who DISABLES"

"Mistuh White! You're an autist!"

"Jesse, I have debilitating mental illnesses"

LMGAO

"We need to cook adderall Jesse"

BAHAHAH

I honestly don't even care if you do it or not, just take it to memechat or something

Alright, I'll do that to help you

Thanks

Why must everything you guys do take such a depressing turn

"Okay..." She sighed. "Maybe...I can...find a way so that everyone can live."

"..then what..? What do you think is going to happen to people when they physically age past they're supposed to?
When there are withering skeletons that can't die?
People in intense, irreparable pain?"

"The curse of immortality. It's a long story. I tried it on myself, and that's why I have that slow healing factor. If done correctly...they can live forever, with their body never aging. They can still die...but they'll be young forever."

"...I don't think that sounds like a good thing, Illy."

She groaned. "Just.....I want someone permanent in my life."