Carlin's original bit was, "Have you ever noticed that anyone who's driving slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac!?...There's certainly no one driving at MY speed!"
ANYONE TO THE LEFT OF ME IS A LIBERAL CAFETERIA CATHOLIC! ANYONE TO THE RIGHT OF ME IS A RAD-TRAD SCHISMATIC! THERE'S CERTAINLY NO ONE AS ORTHODOX AND FAITHFUL TO THE MAGISTERIUM AS ME!