Visualising in the mirror the man i want to become:

Bro, that man has been drinking since he was 8, has a haunted eye socket that causes his eye (if healed) to escape and turn into a giant evil eyeball monster, and has more Scrumpy in his circulatory system than blood.

Yeah demomans metal as fuuuuuck

Yeah but like, he’s rich, and he chill as hell

I'm pretty sure (and yes this IS CANONICAL) he has 7 jobs or something like that

sounds sick, not gonna lie

his whole f**king body adapted to him drinking so much alcohol

I think his stomach became a distillery and his bone marrow became fermented

What makes me a good demoman?

If I were a bad demoman, I WOULDN'T BE SITTIN' HERE, DISCUSSIN' IT WITH YEH now would I?

drunc