not mine but this is horribly funny

Imagine getting so fat that it weighs your forehead down. I would say to not let it get to your head but...

they got the forehead sticking out like the wall you need to blow up in a game

*Achievement Unlocked* "Asian Eyes"

You would need an awfully long piece of floss to fit around it's head

When those to show up to Gandalf he’ll have to let them pass

She has the energy of someone who'd lose a race to their own Wi-Fi connection.

Mf be so big if she went on a scale the scale would be like a NS nation untouched for 28 days and Ceases To Exist

i know
how about a surgical suture, that's even thinner

When you have more width than height

She’s probably wider than she is tall