!EXPERIMENT! Just seeing if I can. Not a beggar. I hate those guys

Yes you are

At least I'm not some random dude on the internet that tries to come up with "witty" replies that put everyone down just so I can think of myself as a genius, but everyone thinks I'm a little piece of crap.

Bro cant say Shit

I can. I choose not to.

It's possible to turn peanut butter into diamonds. Though I don't know how

Fix it Felix

Wreck it Ralph

Leave it Levi :)

tres bien

ford tough

BUILT ford tough!

Rubber band

A group of hippos is called a "bloat."

gorilla glue

mickey mouse

Alaska is the only state whose name is on one row on a keyboard.

mortal terror

This is some high quality memeing

The average adult spends more time on the toilet than they do exercising.

I'm on chapter 10 of Catch-22. It's a good book so far. I encourage you to read it

Ear drum

grape jelly

wigwam indian

rickety stairway

Oof. I guess it didn't work :(

Your fingernails grow faster on your dominant hand.

zoot suit

mm mm good

ever heard of the Max Headroom incident? pretty creepy. look it up

A "jiffy" is about one trillionth of a second.

Ouch! I've done been bitten

Dragonflies have six legs but can't walk.

I don't know if this is gonna work. Do I need upvotes too?

I probably need views too. *inhales* *sighs*. That's fine. Just seeing if it works

mmmmmmm........ donuts

Lickety split

Golf balls tend to have 336 "dimples."
But who's counting?

1 too many ducks

Montpelier, Vermont, is the only U.S. capital without a McDonald's.
poor souls

Mulan has the highest kill-count of any Disney character.
like 2000!

Everywhere there's lots of piggies living piggy lives
You can see them out for dinner with their piggy wives
Clutching forks and knives to eat their bacon

Piggies by The Beatles

The chicken and the ostrich are the closest living relatives of the Tyrannosaurus rex.

Big man, pig man, haha, charade you are, wooh!
You well-heeled big wheel, haha, charade you are
And when your hand is on your heart
You're nearly a good laugh, almost a joker
With your head down in the pig bin saying, “Keep on digging”
Pig stain on your fat chin, what do you hope to find
Down in the pig mine?

Pigs (Three Different Ones) by Pink Floyd

Dude, why you putting pig songs? lol

A mule is just a half-assed horse