Infernals Story. Chapter 1: Journey

It’s fine, but feels a bit fast with the pacing
Idk might just be me

I'm tryna improve it and in chapter 2 its a little improved.

What Punch said

Also pretty good for your first story

A bit short. But it’s good

*it would all take place in a base*

Infernal: *getting a bunch of gear ready* Spear... Picture, and thats all.

*Infernal would walk outside his base then would go to walk to the outskirts of Hell*

Infernal: OK... Now where? *he would look at a map*

Infernal: Through the plains of Hell... Down the Greed Ring... Swim through the Envy Ring... Sneak in the Wrath Ring... Get the Heaven Crystal from the Wrath Sin... Go to Heaven. GOT IT!

*Infernal would start walking*

Infernal: Damn its been a hour and I see nothing. This could take a while.

*Several hours pass*

Infernal: GO***AMN IT! *Infernal kicks a rock*

*rumbling starts happening*

Infernal: OH SHIT! *he gets his spear out

*a giant demonic mole comes from the ground*

Infernal: HELL BURROWER!

*Infernal and the Mole start fighting*

Infernal: UGH YOUR ONE UGLY PIECE OF SHIT!

*the mole bites their arm*

Infernal: OW! THAT HURT! *Infernal would slash the moles eye*

*the mole gets angry then it throws Infernal at a rock pile*

Infernal: Ouch.... IDEA! HEY STAR NOSE COME AND GET ME!

*the mole charges which then Infernal jumps up and then impales the mole on his spear where he splits it in half*

Infernal: Well that takes care of it.

*Infernal keeps walking*

Infernal: Time to rest a bit. *Infernal would lay down a sleeping bag and then sits on a rock*

Infernal: I swear to you both I will avenge you two.

*Infernal would look at a family portrait that has Infernal and a girl demon and a baby demon*

Infernal: I promise... *Infernal would start crying*

*Infernal would lay in his sleeping bag*

Infernal: Goodnight Succuba... Goodnight Ouro...

*Infernal would cry themself to sleep*

*NEXT DAY*

*a Hell Bird screeches in Infernals ear where he stabs it with his claws*

Infernal: Ugh Sin Jays.

*Infernal gets up then continues walking*

*END OF CHAPTER ONE*