youll get through it. (im not saying i hope you will get through it because that implys that you may not get through it you will get through it and out of it.)
I identified as Aroace for so long, i think because I was scared to let myself fall in love. I was scared because if I did fall in love, and then my cancer ended up killing me, it would break my partner's heart. So I didn't let myself fall in love. Eventually, I met someone and realized I did want to fall in love, but now I'm scared that my worse fear is coming true.