“Please stop putting my child in the dryer”

but how else will he get dry

“Yeah, Avice, the dryer is 100% safe for children!”

"Isn't that right?"
the kid in question:

“He’s fine! Look at him!
Does he look injured, harmed, traumatized or sickened in any way?”

"he looks like SpongeBob when he went without water"

“He does not! He’s not the shape of a square!”

"i mean he's shriveled up
He looks like a raisin"

Nah he’s just a bit dizzy…

I think he's dead

He’ll be okay