Deep Thoughts, Jack Handey

I REMEMBER ONE SUMMER BEFORE I MOVED IN WITH GRANDPA, THE FURNITURE REPAIRMAN USED TO COME OVER TO FIX THAT SQUEAKY OLD BED FOR MOM WHICH MADE HER VERY HAPPY. SOMETIMES HE WOULD GIVE ME CANDY OR THE OCCASIONAL SODA. THE REPAIRMAN MUST HAVE USED THE WRONG GLUE OR PAINT BECAUSE WHEN DAD CAME HOME I COULD HEAR HIM SCREAMING AND YELLING AT THEM. AFTER THAT I MOVED IN WITH GRANDPA BECAUSE MOM WENT TO SEE GRANDMA IN HEAVEN AND DAD TOOK AN IMPORTANT JOB IN THE LICENSE PLATE INDUSTRY.