This guys never learn so time to do this again...
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, vaporeon is not the most compatible pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however vaporeon has its human on pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, umbreon. Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defense stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, inner focus allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability synchronise, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect, breedable pokemon. A great fun fact, umbreon can excrete toxins in it's sweat, which would in turn soak your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your umbreon as well (which with synchronise, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). It can learn payback, which doubles in power after the pokemon is hit, meaning umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn guard swap, it could give you it's insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, umbreon also has access to endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as slam, pound, etc; It's access to the abilities inner focus and synchronise allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of it's pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes umbreon the most qualified to breed with humans; able to take d**k of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.

Hey, did you know that in terms of Human Male and Female Pokemon breeding that Vaporeon and Umbreon are the most compatible. This is correct, however there is another Eevee that is equal in breedability to them. Leafeon is in similar proportions and characteristics to its rivals. Leafeon is found in the field egg group (meaning that Leafeon’s are much more compatible due to their mammalian nature) it has a height of 3’03” (about one metre), although, an immediate feature that Leafeon has an advantage over is it’s lighter weight of 56.2 pounds (or 25.5 kg), this makes it easier for handling, making the repeated back and forth movement easier however no less pleasurable with the Leafeon’s readily available body, perfectly built to handle even the largest of human genitalia.Leafeon is the most adaptable Eevee evolutions, being a literal sentient plant, Leafeon has all of the abilities of a plant. Its very high defence stat makes it resilient to nearly any type of physical damage this means that no matter the activity, Leafeon would be able to sustain a myriad of injury or abuse and leave unscathed. And when you’ve fully exhausted all of their body with the power of your vigorous plunges, Leafeon can use their move Synthesis, meaning that they can recover any damage dealt to them, the effect can also be doubled if in sunlight, meaning that they able to heal themselves within moments of being in the sun and be rejuvenated to go for ANOTHER session all over again.All Leafeons are empowered by the sun, this makes daytime or even public pounding sessions desirable, as well as this, Leafeons have special abilities that assist them when in daylight. Leaf Guard makes your f**kbuddy immune to some status affects, meaning that no matter the situation, they’ll never be able to stop pleasuring you.All Leafeons are empowered by the sun, this makes daytime or even public pounding sessions desirable, as well as this, Leafeons have special abilities that assist them when in daylight. Leaf Guard makes your f**kbuddy immune to some status affects, meaning that no matter the situation, they’ll never be able to stop pleasuring you.But Leafeon doesn’t stop there, while being immune to status effects in the sun, they also have the hidden ability Chlorophyll doubling their already POWERFUL speed stat, this makes Leafeon immediately the fastest of all
the Eevee

CUZ I CANT OPEN REDDIT ON A SCHOOL COMPUTER

be it for nutrition, giving even more of an incentive for them to constantly be begging for your cock. But are you kinkier than the average person? Do you want to push what is reasonably allowed? Well lucky for you then! Leafeon is perfect for all kinds of crazy things. Because Leafeon is a plant that means that they no doubt taste like one as well, making vore absolutely possible.
But even if you aren’t into that, Leafeon is no doubt persuasive in putting you in the mood. Of course Leafeon has access to the moves Charm and Baby-Doll Eyes, but what if it can’t use any moves? Well they naturally have a distinctive smell which is favoured and used as a perfume, but depending on the mood of the Leafeon the smell they excrete would be similar to an aphrodisiac, which would make anyone horny, either enhancing or completely skipping foreplay. But these aphrodisiacal properties aren’t just in their scent, it would permeate into their fluids, so if you ever go down on them you wouldn’t be able to stop, probably making them pass out So, although Umbreon and Vaporeon have their merits when it comes to their breed ability, Leafeon just has too many extra ''benefits'' that just can be ignored. While not having as many abilities as its cousins, Leafeon just can’t be beat when you compare pure body characteristics, making even the most weak when exposed to a Leafeon’s sexually ready body. From being easy to handle, to being weak as heck this information will remain as a meme and fake information after all.

So..... you are? Heheheheheheh

What-

wait a minute GET THIS ONE BACK INTO A UMBREON

NONONONO

*drags you to memechat*

What wait no AA-