Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel
You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal
But I'd miss the way we make up and smile
Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head
Then I could see the places I've been
But then I would know that you're talkin' shit
I don't wanna know what my friends think
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn
I'd be so glad when I hear you come home
But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long
I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
I wish I could act in a show on TV
'Cause then I could practice not bein' me
I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel
But you won't believe me when I cry for real; I wish that my brain would triple in size
I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight
But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind
I don't wanna know the point of life
In some other life I would be rich
I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill
But couldn't complain 'bout anything small
Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack
I'd get invited to every frat
But when you get old and your good days have passed
You'll only want me when you're sad
Wish I was a song, your favorite one
You'd follow the dance to me at your prom
I would be there when your baby is born
For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
